My experience of life is that sometimes its easy, and sometimes its so obscenely difficult there are just no words to describe it.
How well we are able to cope with the ups and downs of life depends on one very simple equation – stress versus support.
There are times when we just need to walk away from huge quantities of stress and not put ourselves through it anymore. Jobs where there’s a culture of being undervalued or relationships that aren’t working for you are two easy examples of where no amount of support can offset a fundamental imbalance.
For other times, when life is asking you grow and cope with an experience you’ve not dealt with before, rather than wanting life to get easier, ask for your support to get stronger.
So often in life our choice might be to shy away from what is difficult in the hopes that things will get easier. Things rarely get easier, especially if we have a life lesson to learn, those sort of experiences seem to stick around until you’ve got the lesson they are trying to give you.
And you can’t go round saying “there must be a lesson in this somewhere”, because then you’re actually by passing the experience of what is showing up. Instead, you have to show up and be present and attentive to each moment that is happening. Only when we are fully present are we able to experience what life would like us to experience. Sometimes that might look like a bereavement, sometimes it might look like extra pressure at work, sometimes it might look like a new relationship or sometimes it might look like eating your favourite dessert. It is all worthy of the same full attentiveness.
In the case of the difficult stuff, I would say, show up and be present now, and you are less likely to have to go through the circumstances again. I can’t remember how many times I have realised the quickest way out of something I didn’t like was to show up and be present. And sure enough, the tough stuff passes.
When it comes to dealing with difficult stuff – and what anyone defines as “difficult” will be different for everyone – my other top tip is to beef up your support.
For some this will mean deepening their inner faith or resolve. For others it might meaning leaning in on friends or colleagues more, opening up to family or seeking professional support. For others still, it might be improving diet and nutrition choices or committing to making self-care and enough sleep a priority.
What is difficult for us is rarely difficult for others around us. You might find work situations difficult, but your friends might need help with their love life or finances.
Confiding in others that are good listeners can be incredibly uplifting. Even better, speaking to a trained professional that knows how to hold a great space to redirect you back to your own inner genius can not only help you deal with a difficult situation, it can help you solve it and get the learning quicker than you might on your own.
In my own practice, I have a range of tools to draw on. I am able to get an understanding of your challenge and pick an approach that I consider will give you the solution you are either looking for or will best serve you moving forwards. It may be that you would benefit from a Mind Detox to let go of a past event that stops you being happy or healthy now, or maybe you’ve got a busy head and you’ve never been taught how to “switch off” at the end of the day, leaving you too frazzled to sleep or a sufferer of an overactive mind? Through my therapeutic interventions and meditation courses and coaching, I am able to help anyone that wants to have a calmer mind and be more fully present and cope with whatever life presents.
So ask yourself today, rather than run away from what is difficult, if you had more support, what would that support look like and where would that get you?
Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).
Want to experience a Calm Mind? From Monday 8th January 2018, I will be running a Mind Calm for Me class for the first four Monday’s in January in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, UK.
In the class, I will be sharing why you might want to prioritise what your heart desires the most, how the things you seek are rarely where you thought they would be and how being your heart’s greatest desire is easier than being stressed and have a busy head. Over the four weeks I will share the easy Mind Calm technique, and we will build on our knowledge each week till you are fully capable of carrying on with your own practice.
The cost of the course is just £95, and discounted to £75 if you sign up before 15th December. To find out more, and find out about the Mind Calm technique visit: www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk.