Change starts with me

 

PicsArt_09-03-07.57.56

There has been a lot in the news lately about “big” and “frightening” things happening in the world. Forest fires, wars, unstable governments, health epidemics, natural disasters to name a few.

It’s causing some to feel distressed and worried about their safety and the future, whilst others feel the need to block this information out so it doesn’t affect them.

How we respond to these events is a great example of how we respond to our own inner life challenges.

I am going to guess the driver behind everyone’s life choice’s is peace (even the ones you consider questionable, like the pursuit of money and status).

So when “stuff” comes up in your life that’s uncomfortable, like the recent exposé on rainforest destruction, what do you do?

World peace starts with personal peace

In life, we can only control the controlables. Lot’s of things exist outside of our direct control, such as the weather, someone else’s behaviour, and the complex interactions that make up our human populations.

What we do have a much higher degree of control over, is where we put our attention.
As an individual, we can problem focus, or solution focus. One simply focuses on more thinking about the problem, and the other actively looks for solutions.

So the first question to ask yourself is which are you choosing?

Change the worldIf it’s problem focused, you’ll want to switch your attention to being solution focused. In my experience, this simple shift will result in an immediate improvement in how you feel, as already you are increasing the prospects of positive change.

I’ve also found that our awareness is so smart. If you put your attention on it and listen, it will tell you what to do to bring you and ultimately your world back to peace.

Perhaps you need to put your attention on building the skills, opportunities and resources you do have, rather than stress over what you do have, in order to move forwards? Or perhaps your awareness will suggest going in a different direction to what you’d been doing before, so you create a different outcome. Until you get a handle on what’s coming up for you with an open awareness, you’ll never know.

And here’s the interesting thing, so many people think being present and aware is about having no thoughts or internal chatter.

This simply isn’t true.

Being present is about experiencing thoughts and feelings with a gentle awareness. This awareness is bigger than any thoughts or feelings, so you’re experiencing your life in the context of consciousness awareness.

Life gets difficult for us when we drop the consciousness awareness and focus on our “stuff” like what’s making us worried. Bring consciousness awareness back in, and we’re re-empowered to respond from our whole-selves, rather than knee jerk panic, or reacting from the limited resources of ego.

Experiencing peace isn’t the absence of “stuff” happening, it’s the being present with “stuff” fully, without judgement or resistance.

When we bring our whole selves to the equation, including our awareness, we’re able to transcend issues rather than being drowned in thoughts and suffering about what’s happening.

Does that make sense?

To feel better and move forwards, re-engage a holistic awareness (or GAAWO if you’ve trained in Mind and Body Calm with me) and live life from there.

When you’re suffering, know that you’ve left present moment awareness and do whatever it takes to bring yourself back. That might be a meditation sitting, a call to a conscious friend or if you’ve not learnt it yet, time with someone that can teach you to be present.

Remember this…

Your experience of the world isn’t “out there” it’s in you. If you want your experience to change, change the way you experience your experiences!

As always, I am here to help. ❤️

Next learning opportunity, 8pm Tues 10th Sept Freestyle Yoga Project. Tickets £10. Sign up here: https://meditation4health.eventbrite.co.uk.


20170110 Becci Barbara Yeo Photography hr-30 (2)

Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

www.minddetoxtunbridgewells.co.uk

The mind-based causes of M.E.

For the last day of #MEAwarenessWeek, I wanted to share this resource.

This infographic looks at what happens to us when we find ourselves put under stress greater than what we can currently deal with.

NICABM-InfoG-window-of-tolerance
Our first response to stress is to activate our fight/flight response system to either fight the stressor (a bully or a work deadline) or run away from a stressor (a difficult conversation or a meeting you don’t want to do).

If however, if you can’t fight or run away, the body does a third option, it freezes.
Freezing is a survival mechanism driven by our nervous system to lessen the impact of whatever is happening. (Think a child that lives in a house where there is a lot of fighting but can’t leave or sexual assault).

As you will see at the bottom of the picture it talks about hypoarousal, where the body becomes numb, frozen, spacey and zoned out.

Sounds a lot like ME and #chronicfatigue right?

That’s because in chronic fatigue and ME, the body is in a chronic state of freeze.

In M.E. there are often other symptoms too, such as digestive issues, muscle pain and poor cognition.

Whilst all of these appear to be physical symptoms that would have physical causes, they too are adaptions by your body to survive.

This is why M.E. requires an integrated approach that explores the mind-body connection.

Like the diagram shows, when there is unresolved trauma, we are easily triggered into hyper and hypoarousal. This means, our bodies are constantly responding with their chosen survival mechanisms of being over active or shutting down.

Mind Detox

With Mind Detox, we work with a person’s unconscious mind, where all their memories and autonomic responses come from. When we do a Mind Detox we are able to quickly and painlessly heal our relationship to a traumatic event so a person’s body no longer needs to respond to it.

Using something like Mind Detox, a talking therapy to heal the often hidden cause of chronic problems, we are able to reprogram the mind to respond differently and in a much more healthy way to the same stimulus.

It results in a huge amount of stress being lifted, a much healthier relationship to life and a naturally greater window of tolerance.

It may take several sessions to look at several causes.

Examples of traumatic experiences from previous clients include a parent leaving, being afraid of an uncle or feeling unloved in the family. In all cases, it isn’t necessarily what happened, it is why what happened was a problem for us. This is what we work with (and will be unique to everyone).

I couple this with meditation and other healing techniques that allow the mind and body to return to a state of harmony.

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If you or someone you know is affected with M.E., please share this resource with them. Whilst it can feel like an insurmountable challenge, many people do recover from M.E. and return to full health, myself being one of them.

Curious to know more about Mind Detox? Watch this video of a client session: https://youtu.be/ZzRJHwS_aU0

To book a Mind Detox with me, or find out about Health Coaching visit: www.minddetoxtw.co.uk

#MEAwareness2019 #ME2019 #CFS #MEAwarenessweek2019#MindDetox #Trauma

Nature is my muse

High Weald image

This is the beautiful landscape within which I am based.

Before I did healing, therapy and leadership work I was the High Weald Farm Conservation Adviser for a national charity know as FWAG (Farming and Wildlife Advisory Group). My job was to have one foot in the world of conservation and best practice environmental management and one foot in being a farmer and the need to run a viable business. I loved this job, it was a university dream come true, and it fitted with my goal of being of service to humanity and the planet.

My job involved running workshops, doing talks, writing technical information sheets and visiting farmers to talk through their business and point out conservation features on the farm.

One of my key objectives would be to educate farmers on the historic and environmental importance of what they managed, praise them for existing good management and inspire them to introduce/re-instate management practices that would increase biodiversity, protect historic features, protect waterways and conserve soil. Ultimately the goal was to stem environmental decline brought about by neglect or modern farming methods and take steps to reintroduce techniques that would restore it back to better health (or at least as much as was practically possible).

The people I met were lovely and most cared deeply about their environment, like me. Some were new to land ownership and knew nothing about its management, some were hard nosed business men and women driven by the bottom line and others were seasoned land managers that had over 50 years of farming experience. All of them them gave me their time and at least listened, even if they didn’t act on my advice.

A surprising switch

My switch to healing and leadership work was actually as much of a surprise to me as anyone else. At the time it was because I wanted to get to the source of why it was even necessary to educate people on why they needed to look after the resource that supports them. I had come to realise that a disconnection brought about by a lack of knowledge and of the importance to be connected and/or inner pain from unresolved trauma caused them to not only stop looking after themselves, but also the world they lived in.

I realise now, in order to lead others, I needed to know how to look after my incredible, fragile, valuable and resourceful Self – so that I might be an equal to the abundant landscape and world around me.

It would be fair to say, that my outer environment and what I learnt about caring for that, encouraged me to apply the same attention to my inner environment. By my inner environment, I mean the environment in which I exist and the biochemistry that results from  overthinking and habitual behavioural patterns.

So instead of giving best practice advice to farmers on how to manage hedgerows, ponds and buffer strips, I now give people best practice advice on how best live out their soul/sole purpose. My tools haven’t changed much, I still do talks, run sessions, write blog posts and meet people one to one and  create healing programmes to achieve a certain outcome.

Therapy chairs

Being in nature is good for health

The best bit is, where I am based helps me do my job.

When people see something beautiful and healthy and vibrant around them, they reconnect with the beauty, health and vibrancy inside of them. Through the process of entrainment, being in a relaxed and harmonious environment, the inspiration for a new internal environment bubbles up from inside of us.

 


20170110 Becci Barbara Yeo Photography hr-30 (2)

Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

www.minddetoxtunbridgewells.co.uk

How to experience more clarity

Do you struggle to know what to do? Is your inner wisdom drowned out by overthinking? Does everything take twice as long because you can’t hear your intuition?

We weren’t created to be overthinkers, it just happened.

We taught our children how to be academically “strong and bright”, to “apply their mind” and “think things through”, and as children we listened and did as suggested.

But this heavily thinking-based strategy has lead us to second guess our gut instincts and and get caught in worrying, and negative mental chatter.

Mental chatter

Worrying and mental chatter causes us to experience doubt and confusion, lack confidence, a fear of failure and the driver to work twice as hard as necessary to achieve outcomes. It is exhausting, causes huge physical stress on our bodies and we find a vast amount of our day is given over to thinking rather than resting and relaxing in being.

Cue high levels of anxiety and burnout.

When you look at this picture what do you see?

Do you see chaos or calmness? Movement or stillness? Noisy or quiet? Small perspective or big perspective?

Om Clarity

Notice what you experience when you look this image. How do you feel?

Peaceful? Calming?

This is because when we open up our eyesight far and wide like do when we look at a big open space like this picture encourages, we naturally start to engage our awareness and thinking drops away. (If that’s not your experience right now, don’t think about the picture, experience the picture, notice how big and expansive that view is).

When we let go of thinking and rest into be-ing, clarity naturally arises. We don’t seek for clarity, we allow it to come as a natural byproduct of resting in awareness.

Confident, Calm, Connected and Contented

When we fully rest in awareness, we feel confident, calm, connected and contented.

We cannot get to this state through thinking, we must get to it through experiencing and being.

We are all very capable of doing this, but perhaps not always so practiced.

Meditation is a useful way to help us to connect to the experiencing state rather than the thinking state.

A technique like Mind Calm teaches us how to have a vast and expansive experience, so that we might experience more peace, clarity and ultimately better health.

Want to know more? Ask me how Mind Calm might help you, and what options there are to teach your yoga group, interest group or in the workplace.


20170110 Becci Barbara Yeo Photography hr-30 (2)

Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

 

www.minddetoxtunbridgewells.co.uk

Lonely versus alone

Alone

I was finding myself pining to be with somebody I couldn’t be with, and I wondered when I decided I was separated from everyone else, aka lonely.

I decided I would Mind Detox myself on it.

“What event in my life is the cause of the loneliness, the first event which when resolved would cause the loneliness to disappear? If I was to know how old was I?”

I came up with a memory of me aged 12. I was at a school dance, or about to be at a school dance, standing in the school hall after the school day but we’ll before the event was to begin.

I come from a family of four children, so as a child I always had company and schools are usually full of children, so to be in a space that was usually bustling and was now eerily quiet was unusual for me. It caused me to make up a story about how isolated I was, how people didn’t love me and want to be with me, or would ever want to be with me.

That’s a giant leap from ‘Oh look I am on my own’ to ‘I’m not lovable now or in the future.’

The moment I became aware of the memory, I instantly realised, I was only alone because nobody had arrived yet!

It made me realise alone doesn’t have to equal lonely.

It’s funny how we interpret our life experiences, and how our interpretation of these experiences creates a blueprint to respond to a similar stimuli again until, if necessary, we challenge and change it.

An old story

Before I Mind Detoxed myself it meant every time I found myself unexpectedly alone or more alone than I wanted to be, I started to play out the old story of being not worthy of having any company. In reality, in the memory it was me that taken myself off and put myself in a place where nobody else was. It was me that had left everyone else, not the other way around.

With this new information I can remember three things:

1) If I am on my own, I will be with people again soon.
2) I don’t have to stay on my own. I have feet and I can travel, and I can go and find company.
3) We don’t have to physically be with people to be connected.

Even though in that memory, in that space and time, I was the only one in the room, I was:

– still a part of a family
– a member of multiple teams
– a student in a class of 30 

I realised I was connected many, many ways to many people. 

Connection is unseen, it exists in faith, trust and knowing. In exploring, I learnt to not turn away from connection and pretend it isn’t there, because it is, it ALWAYS is.

And that makes it OK to be alone.


BH 1 medium (2) Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

The Consequences of a Busy Mind

I have seen and experienced first hand the devastation of a mind in overdrive, that runs from morning to night.

Busy Mind

A busy mind harms our health, ruins our relationships, tears apart families, zaps our attention, causes us to make mistakes and erodes our personal wealth (and our financial wealth).

I see little benefit of a mind that never rests.

A mind that never rests is running us, and not the other way around.

We are being Thunk as my coach puts it.

Just today I was reminded of the harmful impact a busy mind has on our ability to be present, and to experience the life in front of us.

I witnessed two people that love each other dearly experience deep separation and abandonment, some of the most painful experiences that can be had. Neither had separated or abandoned each other, they had simply separated from and abandoned being present. The pain was not due to the other, but what they had done to themselves.

And if I am truthful, they hadn’t the faintest clue they were doing it. (No judgement here, I have been and still go there too).

What drove them to behave this way?

A mind that controlled them, rather than the other way around.

When we are lost in our head, we start to have a running commentary of our life deciding whether what is happening is good or bad, should or shouldn’t be happening or what it all means. Thus we don’t see the simple sequence of events in front of us, but instead a deeply distorted perception of reality.

Through the filters of our unresolved historic experiences, our wounds and inaccurate beliefs are played out over and over again.

Overactive imagination

A simple life event can become too much to bear for those with an overactive imagination.

The first step to taking back our power is to realise, we have a mind. To become aware of the mind and our thoughts is to put space between us and our thinking. In doing so, we become the observer of the mind.

With Mind Calm Meditation, we don’t stop there. Once we are aware of the mind, we start to become aware of the silence that our thinking happens in. Over time, we practice becoming more interested in that silence than our thinking. This helps to lessen the mind’s habitual pattern of continuous thinking and increases the pauses between the thoughts. These pauses are deeply restful to the body. Pauses are where magic and miracles happen. It is where we heal, connect deeply to others, experience peace, harmony and wellbeing and become a beacon of inspiration to others.

We still have a mind we can use when we need, and we put it down again when it has done its job. In doing so, we return to a full experience of the present moment.

To get to this stage takes practice, which is why we call it ‘meditation practice’. In meditation we are practicing to become more aware, irrespective of what is going on in our life. In fact our life becomes the training ground of our practice.

As today’s client said, they have tried the overthinking approach and it hadn’t worked, it was time to try something else.

I agree.

And today reminded me, just how important it was that I shared it is possible.


BH 1 medium (2) Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

A still mind, knows no suffering

Still mind

It is rarely our life that is difficult for us, but more of thoughts and feelings about our life. 

When we judge, blame and criticise, we resist what is in front of us, and instead leave the present moment and go off into thought.

All the ‘problems’ we experience in life are actually our thoughts about what is happening for us.

When we leave the present moment, life does indeed become incredibly difficult. In order to understand something and solve it, the mind will exaggerate, distort and go off into the past or future – making a simple scenario much bigger than it really is.

When we practice Mind Calm Meditation, we are learning to be like a body of still water. We let the mind rest and let simple be-ing be enough. There is no need to fix change or improve anything that is happening in that moment. We simply allow all and everything that comes up to come up.

It may for some sound scary or boring, but the reality is often an experience of awe and deep calm. 

It takes effort to resist life and thinking is very tiring. The simple act of be-ing and allowing is incredibly restful for the body.

Stress is able to melt away. We find ourselves refreshed, feeling more centred and balanced, and better able to deal with the challenges ahead of us.

Stay present throughout the day

Mind Calm Meditation is a great way to keep ourselves present as we go throughout our day. It is also very healing. The 10 Calm Thoughts are designed to help us relieve historic stress and have a more healthy and balanced relationship with life. This helps us reduce the amount of stress we accumulate moving forwards. 

Having a more healthy and balanced relationship with life enables us to invest more in doing the things we love and experiencing more from them in return. 

Mind Calm Meditation helps us to have a better relationship with our body, our friends and families, our career and our world around us. It helps us to see things as they really are rather than through the filters of our past experiences. 

For this reason Mind Calm Meditation is great for those that experience depression, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, poor health, difficult relationships, low mood and a general disinterest in life.


Jan 2018 croppedTo find out more and to learn about the Mind Calm Meditation technique, visit www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk/meditation. From here you can watch a video on The Hidden Causes of a Busy Mind, and learn a simple way of experiencing a Calm Mind anytime you want.

And if you would like to learn, the next Mind Calm one day workshop is on Weds 18th April, with 2 places remaining. To book, visit www.universe.com/mindcalm.