A still mind, knows no suffering

Still mind

It is rarely our life that is difficult for us, but more of thoughts and feelings about our life. 

When we judge, blame and criticise, we resist what is in front of us, and instead leave the present moment and go off into thought.

All the ‘problems’ we experience in life are actually our thoughts about what is happening for us.

When we leave the present moment, life does indeed become incredibly difficult. In order to understand something and solve it, the mind will exaggerate, distort and go off into the past or future – making a simple scenario much bigger than it really is.

When we practice Mind Calm Meditation, we are learning to be like a body of still water. We let the mind rest and let simple be-ing be enough. There is no need to fix change or improve anything that is happening in that moment. We simply allow all and everything that comes up to come up.

It may for some sound scary or boring, but the reality is often an experience of awe and deep calm. 

It takes effort to resist life and thinking is very tiring. The simple act of be-ing and allowing is incredibly restful for the body.

Stress is able to melt away. We find ourselves refreshed, feeling more centred and balanced, and better able to deal with the challenges ahead of us.

Stay present throughout the day

Mind Calm Meditation is a great way to keep ourselves present as we go throughout our day. It is also very healing. The 10 Calm Thoughts are designed to help us relieve historic stress and have a more healthy and balanced relationship with life. This helps us reduce the amount of stress we accumulate moving forwards. 

Having a more healthy and balanced relationship with life enables us to invest more in doing the things we love and experiencing more from them in return. 

Mind Calm Meditation helps us to have a better relationship with our body, our friends and families, our career and our world around us. It helps us to see things as they really are rather than through the filters of our past experiences. 

For this reason Mind Calm Meditation is great for those that experience depression, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, poor health, difficult relationships, low mood and a general disinterest in life.


Jan 2018 croppedTo find out more and to learn about the Mind Calm Meditation technique, visit www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk/meditation. From here you can watch a video on The Hidden Causes of a Busy Mind, and learn a simple way of experiencing a Calm Mind anytime you want.

And if you would like to learn, the next Mind Calm one day workshop is on Weds 18th April, with 2 places remaining. To book, visit www.universe.com/mindcalm.

Advertisements

Life looks out for me

Since giving up the Judgement Game, thinking I know best and instead opening myself up to whatever wants to happen, I’ve come to discover one wonderful thing – that Life looks out for me.

I can’t tell you how many times chaos and uncertainty has turned into the most incredible synchronicity, far better than I could have imagined.

Every time, on the other side of fear there has been a magical experience. Just the other day I caught up with a friend that wouldn’t have been possible if I’d turned up 10 minutes earlier and yesterday I got extra time when I needed it most because someone else had to change their plans.
I’ve given up (mostly) knowing what needs to happen and trusting it’s all happening exactly to plan. If I don’t feel that way about something, I book a session with one of my coaching buddies, so I find the gift I was denying myself and let go of the desire to want to control things.

It’s turned life into an easy and surrender-filled experience. I can’t fail if I’m already where I am meant to be and I’ve no fear for the future when I’ve been shown so many times life has my back.

My life didn’t change in order for any of this to happen; instead I changed my relationship with life.

www.universe.com/mindcalm

Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

Peace

PicsArt_02-27-02.04.35

Do you know the meaning of peace?

So many people think peace, the sort of peace that they seek and desire, is the absence of conflict.

However, if we were to wait until there was no conflict in our lives before we allowed ourselves to have an experience of peace, the chances are we wouldn’t experience very much peace at all.

Peace, true peace, is the willingness to let go of our ideas of what life should look like and experience what is there to be experienced.

Peace with life

It is a peace with life approach, as opposed to needing outside life to be peaceful, before we can feel peaceful within.

In fact it is the greatest myth is that how we feel, is all determined by our outer world.

The fact of the matter is, how we feel is 100% determined by our inner world.

By that I mean our ability to live our lives from the peaceful space that resides within.
Each of us is a vast cosmos of limitless peace. When we rest our awareness on that vast cosmos of limitless peace, we are like a vast open sky through which life can flow. To stay peaceful we retain our awareness on the sky, and not what travels through.

This means that no matter what we’re experiencing, if our attention is on our vast cosmos of limitless peace (the sky), our experience will be one of peace.

Releasing historic stress

In this space we are able to release historic stress and remain in the present moment with our current life.

When we no longer resist what is happening, our life is one of constant peace. This may not look like our historic idea of peace i.e there may be some conflict, but if our awareness is on our peaceful inner state, even though it appears on the outside there is conflict, there will actually be peace.

Inevitably from this peaceful state any conflict that is there will dissolve and resolution will be found.

Take a discussion with your best friend about a night out. If you want to go to the cinema but he/she would like to go bowling, then there is conflict. However if you both come from a space of inner peace, you will easily talk it out and find a solution. If in this situation you come from a place of limitation, conflict and lack, there is a chance the two of you will end up fighting and neither options happen. 

We make on the outside what we experience on the inside.

The great news is irrespective of who you are, your current life circumstances, or even what has gone before, you are capable of putting your awareness on your inner state of limitless peace right now. With the right tools and guidance, it is my perception that everyone is capable of being aware of that peace within seconds.

Meditation4In fact I would go so far as to say that knowing about our inner limitless peace is a fundamental, necessary experience.

So if you, or someone you know isn’t experiencing peace yet, please let them know it is possible for them. To help make that a reality, I am offering a 20% discount on my coaching fees till midnight tomorrow.

Simply visit www.universe.com/coachingwithbecci to benefit from discounted rates for one to one sessions and my Breakthrough Days.


BH 1 medium (2)

Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

Tell me what you want, what you really really want…

When asked what people want most in life (what they really really want), they tell me they want Peace, Calmness, Joy, Love, Contentment. They might start by saying happier relationships, more money, a better career – but when I ask them what would those things give them, they say things like Peace, Calmness, Joy, Love and Contentment.

This is because every human being wants these things, it’s hard wired into us.

PicsArt_02-01-03.58.05

It is mistakenly though the outside world is what makes us happy, but that simply isn’t true.

So when I ask them why they’re not experiencing that yet, they tell me it’s because their relationships aren’t good, they don’t like the way they look or that they could only be happy if they were on a beach drinking cocktails with nothing that needed to get done.

But what if I told you, you could experience what you really really want in the next breath and you don’t have to change your life circumstances one iota – would you believe me?

Look inwards, not outwards

We’ve been conditioned to look for our love and happiness in things outside of us. In the places we go, the shape of our body, whether we have a ‘significant’ other or not, the car that we drive, the type of food that we eat or the company we keep. But very rarely we’ve been invited to find our Peace, Joy and Happiness inside of us.

When we connect to our Self, our TRUE self, we experience a Peace, Joy and Contentment unrivalled to anything else on earth. Connection to our Self is what we crave more than anything else. That authentic us that is with us 24/7, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

We don’t have to leave the house, spend any money, look a certain way or be with a certain person to find it. It’s there, permanently, always, just waiting for us to rediscover it again and give it our full attention.

And that is what my work is all about. Helping you to discover who you really are (which is magnificent by the way) and live life from that place.

It means you can still enjoy the beach with the beautiful vista and a fancy cocktail – you just don’t need it to feel Peace, Joy, Love or Contentment.

If what I’ve promised sounds like something you’d like more of, then sign up to the next Mind Calm class. In it, you’ll learn how to connect to that permanent aspect of your Self and live life from that space.

Jan 2018 croppedNext courses are:

10.30am Fri 9th Feb weekly for 6 weeks (Mark Cross, East Sussex, UK)
www.universe.com/calm

10-4.30pm Sat 24th Feb (Mark Cross, East Sussex, UK)
www.universe.com/mindcalm

And if you’d like to find out more about Mind Calm, watch this one hour webinar that explains why you’re not experiencing a Calm Mind already!


BH 1 medium (2)Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

Results, not reasons

Results are the best feedback for a therapist.

A couple of years ago I started working with a client that wanted to make a dramatic shift to their life. Plaugued by illness and self-doubt, despite how they were when we started I had an unwaivering faith that when the truth prevailed their life would change. Together we started to peel back the layers of the onion that had caused them to become so compromised in the first place.

Fast forward 36 months and the outcomes they are achieving each day could only be dreams when we began. From being housebound and unable to do much of what they love, now they have hit at least one of their goals, which to them defined that they have moved forwards, and were on the path to recovery.

When I saw that they were no longer housebound and were able to go out and enjoy life like any other young person would, even if it is just a little bit, I was overjoyed.

As therapists it is our job to assess each individual we work with, and see the light of potential within them all.

The rest is up to the individual. It is up to them to put in the time, commitment, grit and determination that will see them through what is difficult, and to the other side.

As we say in Mind Detox, you are either getting results or reasons. Which are you getting?


Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

Seek support

PicsArt_11-25-08.00.11

My experience of life is that sometimes its easy, and sometimes its so obscenely difficult there are just no words to describe it.

How well we are able to cope with the ups and downs of life depends on one very simple equation – stress versus support.

Stress vs Suppport

There are times when we just need to walk away from huge quantities of stress and not put ourselves through it anymore. Jobs where there’s a culture of being undervalued or relationships that aren’t working for you are two easy examples of where no amount of support can offset a fundamental imbalance.

For other times, when life is asking you grow and cope with an experience you’ve not dealt with before, rather than wanting life to get easier, ask for your support to get stronger. 

 

So often in life our choice might be to shy away from what is difficult in the hopes that things will get easier. Things rarely get easier, especially if we have a life lesson to learn, those sort of experiences seem to stick around until you’ve got the lesson they are trying to give you. 

And you can’t go round saying “there must be a lesson in this somewhere”, because then you’re actually by passing the experience of what is showing up. Instead, you have to show up and be present and attentive to each moment that is happening. Only when we are fully present are we able to experience what life would like us to experience. Sometimes that might look like a bereavement, sometimes it might look like extra pressure at work, sometimes it might look like a new relationship or sometimes it might look like eating your favourite dessert. It is all worthy of the same full attentiveness.

In the case of the difficult stuff, I would say, show up and be present now, and you are less likely to have to go through the circumstances again. I can’t remember how many times I have realised the quickest way out of something I didn’t like was to show up and be present. And sure enough, the tough stuff passes.

Lean-in

When it comes to dealing with difficult stuff – and what anyone defines as “difficult” will be different for everyone – my other top tip is to beef up your support. 

For some this will mean deepening their inner faith or resolve. For others it might meaning leaning in on friends or colleagues more, opening up to family or seeking professional support. For others still, it might be improving diet and nutrition choices or committing to making self-care and enough sleep a priority.  

What is difficult for us is rarely difficult for others around us. You might find work situations difficult, but your friends might need help with their love life or finances.

Confiding in others that are good listeners can be incredibly uplifting. Even better, speaking to a trained professional that knows how to hold a great space to redirect you back to your own inner genius can not only help you deal with a difficult situation, it can help you solve it and get the learning quicker than you might on your own.

In my own practice, I have a range of tools to draw on. I am able to get an understanding of your challenge and pick an approach that I consider will give you the solution you are either looking for or will best serve you moving forwards. It may be that you would benefit from a Mind Detox to let go of a past event that stops you being happy or healthy now, or maybe you’ve got a busy head and you’ve never been taught how to “switch off” at the end of the day, leaving you too frazzled to sleep or a sufferer of an overactive mind? Through my therapeutic interventions and meditation courses and coaching, I am able to help anyone that wants to have a calmer mind and be more fully present and cope with whatever life presents.


So ask yourself today, rather than run away from what is difficult, if you had more support, what would that support look like and where would that get you?


20170110 Becci Barbara Yeo Photography hr-30 (2)Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

 

Want to experience a Calm MindMindCalm FB 3? From Monday 8th January 2018, I will be running a Mind Calm for Me class for the first four Monday’s in January in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, UK.

In the class, I will be sharing why you might want to prioritise what your heart desires the most, how the things you seek are rarely where you thought they would be and how being your heart’s greatest desire is easier than being stressed and have a busy head. Over the four weeks I will share the easy Mind Calm technique, and we will build on our knowledge each week till you are fully capable of carrying on with your own practice.

The cost of the course is just £95, and discounted to £75 if you sign up before 15th December. To find out more, and find out about the Mind Calm technique visit: www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk.

What is meditation?

Ah yes, meditation, such a buzz around this word these days, but what is it? What purpose does it serve? And when to use it? I am going to attempt the near impossible and describe what meditation is (because everyone experiences it differently) and give you a little insight into why it is worthy of your time and attention.

First off, let me be honest and say, I didn’t ‘get’ meditation at all, until I became a teacher of it. So if you meditate, try and meditate or are thinking about meditating and you’re not convinced about it, I have totally been there. And if you find yourself at the end of this article thinking, “I am still none the wiser”, I have been there too. In my experience, understanding the end process of meditation is pretty tricky to get your head around, but THANKFULLY, the actual application of meditation isn’t difficult to do. In fact, you may find that you already have moments when you are in a meditative state whilst you are driving your car, watching a movie or observing a beautiful sunset. The ART of meditation, is when you sit down and do your practice when it isn’t any of those situations – you do it because you either know or trust, that it is good for you. In my experience it helps you accomplish your goals quicker, with less stress and more joyously. It’s a bit like doing exercise, applied correctly it has great benefits on your fitness, body shape and tone. Done wrong, it just makes you more stressed. The work I do is all about developing the former.

Why meditate?

Let’s start with the compelling reasons to meditate. These will be different for everyone, so I have shared some of the general ones and some of my favourite reasons too:

  • Lower stress levels
  • Quieter mind
  • Lower levels of depression and anxiety
  • Clearer mind
  • Better sleep
  • More harmonious relationships
  • Greater intuition and wisdom
  • More resilience to life’s stresses
  • Ability to be a calming influence on others
  • Ability to focus and achieve at a high mental level
  • Better health

What would your reasons be? What would you currently like in your life? If it is any or all of the above, you’re not alone! When asked, all of my clients say something along the lines of the above. The great news is, with meditation you can have all that, AND MORE!!

What is meditation?

So what exactly is the practice of meditation? Well, to understand the practice of meditation, we need to understand about awareness and thought. If I am honest, it was only when I became a teacher of meditation that I realised there was a difference between these two – so it’s you and me both if you hadn’t till now realised there is a difference.

Awareness – is noticing something. I am aware of my body, I am aware of the sounds around me and I am aware of the feeling of my body sat on the chair I am on. This is awareness, it is always there and it is able to tell me data about what, who and where I am. Awareness is who we are.

Thought – is a story that I make up about something. I thought that I saw a spider, I thought that I overhead someone saying things about me, I thought you wanted me to be X, Y, Z. A thought is something we create, especially when we don’t have all the facts. To think requires the mind.

The mind is a curious creature. It is a creative power, that turns unmanifested ideas into action. Look around you, everything you see around you was created by thought! Furniture, electrical equipment, the teabag in my cup of tea – even my body was created by my thoughts!

If we take my tea bag as an example, someone thought it would be a good idea to take some herbs and put them in a paper mesh bag. This happened before they actually set about doing what was necessary to actually grow, collect and dry some herbs, create a paper mesh bag, put the herbs in, seal it up, box it, send it to a shop, where I, who had had a thought about a nice refreshing drink, got in my car and went to the shop to buy it. Even the process of making that cup of tea started with a “hmm, I am thirsty” thought, “I think I will make a cup of tea, that will refresh me.” So thought, which is done by the mind, has a creationary outcome.

Thoughts are very useful, we absolutely need them to function. However, when we start to think when we really should just be being aware, is when we start to experience things like a busy head, anxiety, depression and the inability to switch off and go to sleep. And this is where meditation comes in.

Awareness is who we are, thought is what we do.

Ever heard of the phrase, “We are human beings, not human doings”? Well, I believe we were designed to be both, with the emphasis on human be-ing.

To connect into awareness is to be. To think is to do. It is my experience that if we spend more time be-ing than doing, our stress levels stay in a healthy mid range and we’re more resilient and more ready for action. When we start to do more than we be then we accumulate more stress than we can release and a busy mind is the result.

Knowing this, it makes sense then, to address that be-ing/doing balance, and one of the quickest, most effective ways I know how to do this is meditation.

The approach

So what exactly is meditation? It is a way to develop our awareness.

In meditation, we cultivate awareness over thought, so that the body can rest from doing and be instead. This allows it to release stored stress and return to a state of balance. There are many different techniques for doing this, and I encourage people to find a technique that works for them. In Mindfulness and Buddhism, we develop our awareness of the breath, then expand that include the body, sounds, sensations, emotions, thoughts and feelings. Other techniques use chanting, sound, a mantra or following a guided set of instructions. My favourite technique at the moment is Mind Calm. In Mind Calm, we develop the capacity to be aware, which is interspersed with 10 Calm thoughts. These thoughts help us to develop the ability to remain in awareness, whilst bringing 10 positive attributes into our life that are both uplifting and cleansing.

In a meditation session, we practice the ability to prioritise being aware over doing thinking. Seeing as the mind LOVES to think, because that is what the mind does, it means gently putting the mind down and being aware instead, as much as we possibly can.

One of the reasons that people aren’t desperately keen on idea of meditation is because they live the majority of their life from their mind and the mind doesn’t like being put down! The mind will always try to be in constant use, so it’s important we understand that even though the mind doesn’t like meditation and being put down for 10 minutes, the body and the rest of your life does.

You have a mind, it is not who you are.

How do we know we have a mind? Because we can observe it. If I asked you to count the number of thoughts you had in a one minute, you could do it. That is because there is a mind, and then there is the observer of the mind. The observer of the mind is you! That’s your core essence – the permanent part of you that existed before you had a mind and before you had a body. Some people call this spirit, essence or source – all you need to know is that is exists and it is the be-ing part of you and it is good to give it some of your time.

When we meditate, we start by engaging our awareness. In the Mind Calm technique that I share, we do that by finding an object to look at and spreading our awareness in a technique called GAAWO to activate our full awareness and our parasympathetic nervous system. Activating the parasympathetic nervous system is important as this is the part of the body that returns us to a resting state – such as slowing our heart rate, prioritising healing and increasing our ability to digest food. By activating our parasympathetic nervous system, the body is able to start to repair, release stress and return to a balanced state. Sound good? Yippee!

Give it time

CandlesMeditation isn’t a quick fix miracle cure, it’s a slow steady practice of be-ing over doing so that we may return to balance and release the stress we’ve acquired. For many of us, it tooks us years before our life got difficult enough to make us look at a technique like meditation, and it is going to take us years, if not a lifetime to release all the stress we built up in that time. The great news is, the benefits are instant and the more you apply the practice, the quicker being in awareness becomes your new norm.

The other great news is, the practice of meditation with your eyes shut and your eyes open, means that you stop accumulating so much stress in the first place. Win-win!

So, like starting a fitness programme, a meditation programme returns us to being human beings, which is our natural state, and a state of balance. It makes us more resilient, better able to cope with life’s up’s and down’s, more relaxed and better physically and mentally. That then directly benefits our work, families, relationships, hobbies and abilities to deal with difficult situations and life events.

And that to me, sounds like something worth investing in.


BH 1 medium (2)Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainer, meditation teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

Mind Calm flyerWant to know more about Mind Calm? On Thursday 3rd August, I will be running a Mind Calm in Minutes Intro Talk on London Road, Tunbridge Wells.

Come and hear about the hidden causes of a busy mind and try out GAAWO yourself!

Tickets cost just £10 and £15 if you bring a friend. More information can be found at www.universe.com/mindcalm.