Where does creation come from?

Where does creation come from? It comes from silence.

From still, silent, space a new idea, emotion or expression is formed.

Love comes from silence, direction comes from silence, be-ing comes from silence.

Because when we are silent, we can hear.

Hear our heart’s greatest desire, hear our intuition (inner-tuition), hear our soul purpose.

And from stillness, we are free to act on that.

When we are ‘busy’ we cannot hear.

We must be still, we must be silent, we must create a space for life to manifest in.

silence

You must feel in order to heal

It’s a rainy January day and I feel compelled to share a little insight into my day.

You see, today’s not been easy, and I want to make something good of it.

I get the feeling that some people think or very desperately want to think, I have the perfect life. I am definitely very positive and celebratory in what I share, but it doesn’t mean things are all sweetness and light, because if I am honest – just like anyone else, sometimes they aren’t.

Just like I suspect you are, I’m on a journey here on planet earth, and sometimes I’m faced with things I find difficult. Here’s a list of things I find difficult, particularly when I’m faced with a lot of them at once; perhaps you can relate:

  • Fitting in to societal norms
  • Being alone
  • Other people being upset/unhappy/emotional/unwell
  • Little variation (too much certainty)
  • Being shut out
  • Making decisions
  • Accommodating others
  • Needing to perform to receive love/acceptance/approval
  • The fear of being judged and punished for who I am, for being myself
  • Fear of authority
  • Fear of being taken advantage of
  • Fear around my credibility
  • Uncertainty
  • Fear that if I do what I want, I’ll let other people down
  • Fears I’m already letting other people down
  • Fears I’m delusional and can’t see it
  • Fears I’m not pulling my weight
  • Fears I am very broken and no-one is confident enough to tell me to go and get it sorted
  • Having to permanently be my own champion.

Man, that’s a lot of “stuff”!

Now, I could take a number of approaches to combat this, I could:

  • Distract myself
  • Eat/drink something to numb it out
  • Try and actively turn it around e.g. Sad to happy, by changing my thinking
  • Try and ignore it
  • Change environments

I could do any of those things to try to turn around how I am feeling right now but experience tells me, I’m best off doing none of those things and instead of running away from how I’m feeling, I’m best to let myself very gently feel it.

Why do what logically would appear to be counter intuitive by turning into what’s difficult for us? Because, we must feel to heal.
Our feelings are as a result of our thoughts, a biochemical response that is designed to aid our survival. So, whilst it is wise to change the way we think so we stop producing uncomfortable biochemistry, the situation I’m in right now is the need to address and release the biochemistry of historic thinking, so those thoughts can be released permanently from my system. I also need to set a precedent of not needing to avoid that biochemistry so I am capable of feeling emotions, particularly these ones from this particular trigger, and still have a fully functioning life.

For example, feeling sad but still showing up for work, feeling angry and still meeting a friend for lunch, feeling hurt and still wishing a friend happy birthday. In effect, being able to have a fully functioning day in spite of how I feel.

Why do this? Because when we avoid feeling a certain way, we shut ourselves down. We’re less likely to do all the things that keep us healthy and balanced like exercise, seeing friends, eating well when we are paralysed by putting all our effort into resisting our emotions.

Instead, we’d do well to develop a list of practices that help us authentically experience our emotions. For some it might be walks or time in nature, art, writing or reading poetry, talking with a friend, talking with a therapist, going to a spa- whatever you know works for you! Whatever you know helps you come to terms with something that’s difficult,  do it!

The beauty is, when you permit yourself to experience your emotions this way, you set yourself free. You set yourself free from perceived societal norms,  needing things to be different, needing to be cheerful all the time, needing to be what everyone else wants rather than what you are and you allow yourself instead to be honest, creative, uninhibited and open to change.

When we are truly poised in the centre of whatever is going on for us without running away, forcing an agenda or wanting things to be different to how they are, we stand poised and in a deeply powerful location. There is nothing more powerful than realising you don’t want what you have anymore, because at that point you’ll leverage the power and commitment necessary to change how you behave so you do get what you do want. Whether it’s a relationship, health, a more pleasant home or work environment or a greater cash flow – that that point you turn and lean into your emotional experience you’ll find all the motivation you need to bust out of old behaviours and develop new ones. They might be:

  • Allowing others to get to know you
  • Joining a new club, group or society
  • Scheduling in more relaxation or down time
  • Eating healthier
  • Honouring your truth
  • Permitting yourself to trust others
  • Asking for help
  • Making a regular health/finance/exercise commitment
  • Showcasing your work
  • Addressing a difficult situation/relationship

You see, feeling your emotions is one of the greatest acts of Self-love. It’s not naff or self-indulgent as others may have you think. No one can know what you are going through except you, so you must advocate for yourself and handle your issues in the best way you know how.

At the end of the day, our lives and our experiences are our responsibility, and nobody else’s.  Only we can determine what for us is right or wrong. We must  also understand that we will take many goes and we will most probably getting it wrong many times before we get it right – heck, I know I have!

So to conclude, we must feel to heal and permit our experiences to shape our decisions and choices moving forwards. And if you do that, and I do it too, we’ll be busting through the belief we must be happy all and have our sh*t together all the time because, sometimes we most decidedly do not!

And I for one am OK with that.

Let go of negative justification!

pensive-boy

Let go of justification!

When we feel something, and we feel it very strongly, it is because we feel JUSTIFIED in having that feeling. The stronger our feelings, the stronger our justifications for having things be that way.

For example, a person might feel very JUSTIFIED at being angry with someone for turning up 10 minutes late. They will then find many reasons, WHY they feel JUSTIFIED at being so angry that further reinforces that anger.

The basis of our justifications is our beliefs.

If someone holds very strong views and beliefs around the importance of being on time, that it is rude to turn up late or that turning up on time is linked to how much the person likes you, then they are likely to feel very JUSTIFIED about feeling hurt, angry or upset at another person’s lateness.

I am sure we have all been on the receiving end of this!

Strong beliefs have supported all sorts of harsh and unkind behaviours, from religious wars to apartheid and the illegality of homosexuality. In these cases, those promoting the harsh experiences felt very JUSTIFIED in doing so.

And the same, albeit on a smaller level, goes on for us. We feel very JUSTIFIED to carry out some of our most self-harming behaviours, based on our beliefs and conditioning.

This is why the MIND DETOX METHOD works so well. In the MIND DETOX METHOD, we establish what your fundamental beliefs are so we can decide if those beliefs are actually true. These beliefs are very core to us and shape absolutely everything we do – including what our bodies do. These beliefs may FEEL true, they may feel very normal and familiar, but when we actually look at them in the cold light of day – are they actually true?

Common beliefs clients find many JUSTIFICATIONS to support are:

It [a bad event] was my fault
I’m not good enough
I am not worthy of love
Mum/Dad left/hurt me because they didn’t love me
I deserved to be punished
Nothing can be done / I am powerless
Life is hard
Money is hard to come by
I am a victim of my circumstances
There is something wrong with me


All that list is, is a list of thoughts/beliefs that feel very familiar and comfortable to people – like a pair of comfy old slippers – but actually have no basis in truth or reality.

Yes, sometimes we are responsible for things, but it doesn’t make them all our fault – far more happens outside of our control than within our control.

Yes, sometimes we don’t meet the standard necessary to accomplish something, but this doesn’t make all of us not enough, in every circumstance – it was only relevant at that point in time and perhaps at that point in time, that outcome was a blessing in the long run.

And yes, sometimes it appears like the people around us don’t love us, but this is in no way a reflection of our worth, it is a reflection of what that person is going through at that point in time and how much THEY are struggling.

Get my drift?

SO, in the MIND DETOX METHOD, we are able to challenge some of the extraordinarily deep and fundamental beliefs we have created or acquired over time really quickly, painlessly and easily. Instead we naturally find ourselves wanting to replace them with statements of absolute truth such as:


I am a kind and generous person

I am enough

I deserve to be loved

My parents are good people, they were just trying to do the best they can with what they have.

It’s what’s known as self-love, self-esteem, confidence and compassion – attributes that are all vital to our health and wellbeing!! We literally turn our negative justifications on their head and look for reasons to love and support ourselves.

So next time you find yourself going through a very strong experience, stop and notice, what are your justifications for feeling that way? You may find that you have picked up one or two that are inaccurate that you might benefit from turning around. Letting go of these inaccurate beliefs and replacing them with more honest and accurate ones will let good energy and experiences flow through your life again. Now that is something you can justify – why you deserve to be and feel well!


 

20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lr

Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerReiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

Fall in love with you 

​We’ve been taught as kids to like ourselves, but not too much, or else we’ll be arrogant. 

The truth is, to reach our hearts greatest desire of completeness we have to fall in love with ourselves, hook line and sinker. 

We’ll not experience the harmonious experience of completeness till we love ourselves completely. 

That means:

 – letting go of what others have said about you

 – letting go of what society thinks

 – letting go of what you’d like yourself to be

 – letting go of perfectionisms and judgement 

 – letting go of any masks you hide behind

Instead it means:

 – wiping the slate clean and living in the present

 – making your connection to yourself more important than anyone else’s 

 – loving and embracing what you already are (quirks and all)

 – knowing you and everyone else is already perfect just as they are 

 – knowing judgement is just one big fat juicy lie

 – being a leader and a pioneer 

 – trusting good things come to those that love themselves

 – unashamedly being your true and authentic self and sharing it.
That means loving the quirks, the obstinate character, the not good with money, the no fashion sense – whatever it you perceive to be your weaknesses, you’ve got to love and accept those too, along with your strengths – your kindness to strangers, your talent with music, your ability to bring order, your gift with food.

We’ve been told not to love ourselves for too long. The truth is the world needs us to LOVE ourself, it needs us to be so full up on love and completeness we don’t need anything but our own attention and our own adoration, the excess of which we can share into the world as our surplus.

The reason you are lonely 

 

When we choose to judge and be hateful to others, it is us that feels lonely.

Loneliness is a loss of connection. It is where we have chosen to close our heart to ourselves or others, maybe because we don’t agree with behaviours or beliefs, or we feel we or they have wronged us in some way.

When we decide we don’t like someone or ourselves and we cut them or parts of ourselves out of our life, we naturally experience a feeling of loss and aloneness. We can be in a room full of people and yet feel alone, isolated and disconnected.

If this is our reality, if left unrealised and not addressed, over time the chances are we might start to create being alone in our physical world. It starts by us reaching out and interacting with others less, we might start to persuade ourselves we are better off alone and stay in more or stop seeking new friendships, and then ends in complete physical, emotional and spiritual isolation.

It is only when we come to realise we are lonely that we are able to start the return journey to connection.

To be fully connected is to love ourselves completely, but actually, there’s a bit more to it than that.

The cosmos is within

To understand ourselves, we must understand that the entire cosmos exists inside of us. Whilst it may appear that the world appears outside of us, this isn’t true! The entire world we perceive outside of us is a projection from within. If we are connected to all parts of us within, we will experience connection to all experiences without with love and compassion.

This is why those that are loving and accepting have more connections than those that are judgemental and critical.

Can you see how ironic the behaviour of being judgemental is? We try and separate ourselves from what we don’t like so we can have a better and more loving experience and instead we end up isolated and alone and experiencing less love!

This means the path out of loneliness is truly an inwards journey. It means taking the qualities or behaviours that we don’t like in others and coming to forgive them and love them in ourselves.

So, for example, if we have a problem with other people judging us, it is an invitation to stop judging ourselves. If we dislike those that have a temper, it is for us to resolve and let go of the times we get irate and have a temper ourselves. Remembering the entire cosmos is inside of you means that sometimes these qualities may feel deep or very far away, but if we are seeing it outside of ourselves, it is because it exists somewhere in the cosmos within.

Hard and unattractive though this approach to some may sound, it does at least give us a pathway back to wholeness and connection. It gives us back the power to make a change to our experiences, so that we may experience something different.

Perhaps the first step is to reach out to someone or a group of people that can help you reconnect to all of you internally. Find people that know well how to heal their inner experience so you can ask them how they did it. Having help and guidance on such a journey is an important aspect of growth, as it speeds up our development and helps us persist and stay on track through the difficult days. It is also the first step to loving that beautiful quality of connection inside of ourself. And as you will find, as you start to love within, you will experience love without – because love is very magnetic, and attracts more love to it.

2 flights of stairs? No worries

**PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE**

I’ve just been on a 2 day Calm Cure course at Regent’s University, London. I learnt many wonderful things and met many wonderful people, but my overriding take home is this.


A few people on here would have known me at Nottingham University, but you probably didn’t realise how hard I found it to climb the two flights of stairs to get to the Food Ethics lectures. I’d feel hideous at the top, and it’d be a constant battle to stay awake. If it was a dark lecture room, then the chances were my head would be on the desk within 10 minutes, my eyes would be shut and I’d be ‘listening’ for about 2 minutes and I’d be asleep or battling to stay awake by 15 minutes in. This happened in almost every lecture. I was exhausted, and had been for years. (Lord only knows how I got a 2:1.)

Fast forward to this weekend. I’ve been up and down these stairs about 10 times almost without thinking (except to realise how different life is now!) Severe pain and fatigue is incomprehensible to me now.

If it hadn’t have been for the courses I did, like the one I did today, none of that would have been possible.

Back when I was at uni I had no idea how conflicted and mentally shattered I was. Now, it’s obvious to me why I had M.E., but back then I knew much less. Lots of people knew much less.

Today the room was full of people that were willing to accept that maybe, just maybe, they don’t know it all yet – that there is more to explore. They also seem to have a much stronger grasp on being beyond the mind than most. It’s refreshing.

Help just one…

I didn’t hugely want to share, I’m a pretty private person, but if it enlightens just one person, particularly anyone with M.E. or knows someone with M.E., then I’ve done my job.

Everyone’s route out is different but for the record mine was:

  • Acupuncture
  • Chiropractic
  • Nutrition
  • Friendships
  • Horses
  • Meditation
  • Reiki
  • Equine Assisted Learning
  • Ascension meditation
  • Mind Detox

The last few except Ascension meditation I trained in so I could share the benefits I’ve had with others.

But perhaps the most important thing of all was a willingness to explore doing life differently, and all the people that made it possible for me to do that.

Thank you to you all. xx

#CFS #ME #ChronicFatigue


20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lr

Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerReiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

Just for today, be grateful

Today, I will be grateful, but not for the little or usual things – today I have tasked myself to be grateful for all the things that I would normally be resistant to.

So for me that might be something like how I feel (which is dozy), the large amount of work I have, demands on my time outside of work and how much pressure I feel under sometimes. Today I am going to be grateful for all THOSE things.

Gratitude has an enormous, transformational power. It doesn’t have the ability to change your circumstances, but it does have the ability to change your relationship with them.

When we become grateful for something that is difficult for us, we expand our capacity to love, accept and move forwards through experiences rather than being stuck.

And being well is all about moving through experiences, whereas being ill is all about being stuck.

So join me in a day of gratitude. Together, let’s strengthen our capacity to move forwards and be well.

If you like what is written here, you’ll like our Tuesday and Friday morning Meditation and Development groups. We talk about important topics such as the impact gratitude has on our life and health and apply to our lives through a meditation practice. For more information visit www.facebook.com/MindDetoxTunbridgeWells/events