​Introducing me, and how I work with you

Photo credit: Barbara Yeo Photography

Some studies indicate that the greatest component of any therapeutic intervention is the Therapeutic Alliance*. Simply put, this is the relationship between the client and the therapist and the therapeutic dynamic that happens as a result. In a strong therapeutic alliance the therapist will employ good listening, understanding and empathy skills. They will take your concerns seriously, whilst being able to maintain their own integrity and hold a powerful non-judgemental space for the therapy to take place in.

Other studies purport that it is sticking to the therapeutic technique that gets the greatest benefit for clients, with a mishmash of approaches reducing the therapeutic outcomes. 

It figures therefore, than attention to both is required. 

Thankfully, the Mind Detox Method is a script, so there’s little room for deviation. The power of the technique comes from the wording that speaks directly to the unconscious part of your brain. This is how we are able to recall where your problem started. By overwriting this part of your memories with a more harmonious and neutral response, we are able eliminate the stress you are currently experiencing, allowing your emotional state and/or body, to return to resting/normal.

And as for me? Well, I got into this because I got repeated feedback I was a good listener. I love helping people realise their innate inner beauty, and having lived through a fair number of challenges myself I know how capable and resilient we are. I love nothing more than being a source of support for people that perhaps don’t have their own, which I couple with a belief in your limitless potential. I am ambitious in what I want you to achieve, because I know with the right support anything is possible. My clients usually see outcomes immediately but for real significant change I suggest they give it six months. Particular successes are clients returning to work after many months off for stress, dealing with and releasing past trauma for a better present moment experience, better relationships with friends and family, starting new relationships, starting new creative ventures, a more harmonious experience at work, improved skin, peace with the menopause and better digestive health. 

Playful

I am playful and relaxed in my approach, taking full advantage of the exceptional rural clinic setting I am based in (which is stress-reducing in itself). I realise that therapy works best when the individual is fully engaged and motivated to accomplish their outcomes and I work with you before, during and after to ensure that. Best of all, the positive coaching feel of the Mind Detox Method means that many don’t see it as therapy, opening themselves up more to the process and getting a better result.  

If this sounds like something you would be interested in, I am available Monday and Tuesday afternoons and Wednesday mornings (British Summer Time).  A block of three sessions to look at and resolve what the cause of your problem is costs £225 and can be done weekly or over a 6 week basis. This includes pre- and post- support, with discounted follow up sessions if they are necessary. 

Visit www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk to find out more and check out some of the success stories.
* http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/pst/38/4/357/
#therapy #coaching #trauma #relationships #health

Counselling, Psychotherapy, Coaching, Mind Detox and Meditation – which one when?

Hi, my name is Becci, and I am a Mind Detox Practitioner and a Meditation & Development Group leader. I help people going through mild depression, anxiety, stress related illnesses and tough life experiences to turn their life around so they can be at peace with what is happening and move forwards to fulfil their potential.

One of the challenges I know people face when life gets difficult is knowing what kind of support they need. They might be going through things like a divorce, a stressful work experience, postnatal depression, a deep feeling of dissatisfaction, a health crisis or they find themselves blocked an unable to move forwards, sometimes even too afraid to leave the house.

When we get into one of these situations, the last thing we need to do is have to work out what can help us, so it’s good to know a bit about what sort of support and help is out there so you know who to go to for help, when.

Mental health, it’s worth paying attention to

mentalhealth

According to Mind, one in four people will experience some kind of mental health illness

According to the UK Mental Health Charity Mind, one in four people will experience some kind of mental health illness in their lifetime such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, schizophrenia or bi-polar disorder. I would argue, taking into account short periods of mental health issues such as exam stress or bereavement, that this figure is far more like four in four people will experience some kind of significant mental illness or mental health stress at some point in their life.

Once a poor distant relative of physical health, it is my view that mental health is worthy of a place in any healthcare system as much as physical health (and spiritual health). To me as a Mind Body expert, I feel this even more strongly as I know that the body is a manifestation of the mind, and the number one cause of all illness in this world is “stress”.

Our mind is a powerful tool that influences our behaviour, relationships and ultimately our wellbeing – so in my view it is an essential part of any healthcare and wellbeing programme. Our mind, quite literally, has the capacity to shut us down, or drive us to do things we wouldn’t normally do – so it is important we have a healthy relationship with it.

So what does each technique do?

I’m going to start with counselling, as this is the oldest recognised profession by the National Health Service (NHS) in the UK. The word “Counsel” means to give advice, yet ironically, a counsellor’s job is to support an individual experiencing personal, social, or psychological problems and difficulties, without giving advice. A counsellor will provide a safe and confidential place, so people can explore their difficulties, free of judgement and opinion. A counsellor might use skills such as active listening, clarification, reflection and effective questioning skills to help the client to see things more clearly in a way that is perhaps not possible with family and friends. Counselling tends to remain in the domain of the present moment, looking at ways of expressing the emotions of and ways of dealing with current challenges. Counselling is not designed to help you change the way you behave, it designed to help you to cope better with the resources you already have.

Psychotherapy is literally therapy for our psyche (the conscious and unconscious mind) and looks at how our thoughts influence our present behaviour. This may mean exploring past experiences, as a way resolving our present life challenges. This is appropriate when we still carry trauma from difficult experiences that cause us to behave differently now. Psychotherapy may ask us to reprocess old experiences so that we can release them from our consciousness. There are many different styles of psychotherapy that work with us and influence us in different ways. Some look at your experiences from an analytical perspective, some from a behavioural and others from the sensations and experiences you experience in your body. The goal of psychotherapy is to resolve current challenges that are mental in origin so we can lead a healthy and fulfilling life.

Coaching is way of developing people’s skills and abilities, and of boosting performance so that they can reach their full potential. This may be done when an individual has a problem, or done proactively to get the best out of a person. A coach and their client will set a defined intention or goal for a session or number of sessions such as change career and then take a number of steps to reach that goal. Like counselling, coaching believes the individual has all the resources within to complete their desired outcome, but unlike counselling, a coach may instruct, train and actively aim to develop skills within an individual to help them achieve that outcome.  Coaching doesn’t focus on the past. Instead, if issues from the past surface as a reason for someone not being able to move forwards in life, a coach would refer this person on to get help specifically for that, before coming back to the coaching programme to move forwards through focused action and skills development to reach their goal.

Mind Detox, like counselling, psychotherapy and coaching, is talking based. Taking the positive goal setting elements from coaching, in Mind Detox you start by getting clear on what it is you want to let go of, or gain giving the mind a positive final destination to aim for. In a Mind Detox session, we work with the Unconscious Mind, the seat of all our behaviours, memories and healing. The aim of the session is to clear a historic reason why a problem or issue is currently showing up in your life. Mind Detox is very direct and efficient and discovering and resolving the cause of your problems. A Mind Detox session can be used to clear difficult feelings and emotions around a past experience so you can move on and be at peace, or to resolve a current life challenge such as a fear of heights, inexplicable weight gain or health conditions that may have an emotional origin.

 

Young female meditate in nature

Meditation helps us to let go of overthinking and become aware of our true nature.

Meditation, unlike the other three is something that can be done whether we have challenges in our life or not. Part of a healthy self care programme, meditation helps us to let go of overthinking and become more aware of our true nature. Done through a number of techniques, true meditation has the ability to put space between our thinking and the true essence of who we are. It is a path of self-exploration and a way of being better able to let go of thinking when it is not needed. Meditation is useful for everyone, but those that want a deeper connection to Self or find they are unable to let go of thoughts and/or feelings tend to find it most helpful of all. In meditation we learn to appreciate that we have a mind, but it is not who we are. Unlike Mind Detox or coaching, we are not looking to change our mind, simply our relationship to it. And unlike counselling, we are not looking to talk out our problems, instead letting them go knowing we do not need to hold on to the content. By doing so, our mind has far less influence over us and we become more connected to the wisdom of our whole body. Many find the benefits of meditation is an increased awareness of life and clarity of body, mind and soul.

 

Which one when?

It can be tricky to know which technique you need when, so here’s a little breakdown to help.

Counselling is great when you just want to talk and have someone listen and help you problem solve your challenge yourself. A counsellor will be a strong and supportive person that see’s you as whole and capable, and will believe in your abilities and skills to create your own solutions.

Psychotherapy is great when you want to talk about your problems and find out where they are coming from. Psychotherapy mixes counselling skills with the ability to look at how the past shapes your present and can help you to develop strategies to cope. This is useful when you want to learn new ways to deal with a problem and let go of difficult feelings from the past.

Coaching is great when you want to achieve a goal. Coaches will help you to create a goal/goals and a framework to complete them within, so you can achieve, even when they seem a bit scary. It is a positive, forward focusing activity that draws on your existing skills and talents and facilitates you learning new ones.

Mind Detox advertMind Detox is great when you know or suspect something in your past is responsible for the problem you are experiencing in the present. A Mind Detox practitioner will help you discover and resolve the thought process and emotion behind your behavioural or health problem, without having to go into the whole story. Those that like Mind Detox do so because it is very quick to get to the core of the issue,  has a positive forward focus of getting well, and goes back only to remove the issues that hold you back. A counsellor, coach, health professional or meditation teacher may refer someone to a Mind Detox practitioner to remove a psychological block that is preventing them from moving forwards.

Meditation is something I would recommend people do at least once a day on a daily basis as part of a positive health care programme. It is a choice to purposefully rest the mind, (which reduces stress levels) and helps us to develop a strong sense of our true self. Different types of meditation have different benefits, with some being stronger at bringing mental clarity and letting go of old beliefs, whilst others help us become loving and accepting of our current circumstances and others develop a stronger connection to our spiritual side. A balanced meditation practice will do all three as well as allow us to pause and make choices from a place of love before we respond to stimulus. Meditation may help us clear old trauma simply through us becoming unattached from and letting go of thoughts and beliefs that no longer support us. Meditation does not however, help us to change our thoughts, which is the domain of psychotherapy, coaching and Mind Detox.

 

I hope the above goes some way to explaining the differences, which can be confusing to those first starting out exploring mental health. It may also throw light on where a different approach to the one you are currently taking may be helpful – for example, learning to meditate to help with anxious thoughts, rather than trying to change every anxious thought we have – or moving from counselling to coaching to achieve a particular outcome. The most important thing to do is to discuss what you want to get out of a session or sessions with your potential counsellor, therapist or coach. You need to make sure you are confident they understand your challenges, what you want to accomplish and they have the necessary skills and experience for the challenge you bring. In my experience, it is important to find someone you can trust and with whom you have a good relationship, so you can relax into the process and know you are taken care of.


20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lrBecci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerReiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are response-able

One of the biggest threats to us living a fulfilling and loving life is forgetting how brilliant, capable and powerful we are.

When we play small and believe our problems are bigger than us, we disconnect from our light and power within.

This inner light prevails, irrespective to our relationship to it, always waiting for us to reconnect and reclaim our true abilities.

It is our mind that limits our belief in our abilities. Perhaps we were told we were useless as a child, or the people around us were disconnected to their inner light, teaching us to do the same.

It takes great courage to connect to our inner light, as often many repressed emotions can come up when you do.

This is why it is important to work with someone else, so they can help you navigate unchartered waters. A counsellor, mentor or guide will hold a space in which you can take your first steps into the unknown, knowing there is someone there to hold out a hand to steady you or encourage you back up if you fall.

It is however, at the end of the day, our journey to make. We are response-able, no matter how harsh our lives have been. There is always more good in the world than there is bad. There is always more love than not. The invitation is to accept that reality and embrace the growth we are capable of, irrespective of our fears, rather than retract ourselves and run away from what is hard. One of the biggest threats to us living a fulfilling and loving life is forgetting how brilliant, capable and powerful we are.

 

 

If you would like to find out more about what help and guidance is available to discover your potential, visit www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk or call Becci on +44 (0)1892 853518.

Why does Mind Detox work?

Mind Detox is a personal transformation tool that helps you uncover and release the blocks within that result in poor health, difficult relationships, low self-esteem, financial difficulties.
In all instances where life is difficult, it is not the presence of a problem that is the issue, but instead the absence of health, flow, freedom, a bigger perspective, trust, happiness and peace.
When we experience a difficult situation, and the experience of that isn’t fully experienced and made whole again (i.e. healed), we can be stuck with an unfinished experience. Left over time this can result in imbalanced body function such as:
– digestive issues such as irritable bowl, constipation, gall stones
– persistent pains such as headaches and migraines, joint pain and back pain
– low energy, low immune system or persistent mental trauma
– inability to speak, hear or think clearly
– an aversion to particular experiences such as flying, spiders or a particular location
– difficult and strained relationships, a lack of trust in relationships or a need to be in control
– financial issues around worth, overspending, being miserly or gambling
 
One of the areas I have worked with is food addictions. Food addiction can be mild, such as always wanting a coffee when you go out or having a favourite ice cream, to very severe where your entire day is scheduled around your particular food addiction to the point where you feel that you cannot function without it and it impacts on health, wealth and relationships.
Unmanagable feelings
Food is one of many things that people use to numb out a difficult emotion. It works because food has an impact on the biochemistry of our body. A product such as chocolate triggers the brain to release endorphins – hormones that cause you to experience a pleasant high feeling, rather like being in love. Theobromine and phenylethylamine in cocoa are also thought to affect your levels of serotonin, which can boost your mood and ease depression whilst sugar increases your levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure centers. Another example is alcohol. Alcohol impacts the Central Nervous System by slowing it down, something that might be attractive to someone that is having a lot of thoughts that is making them feel a lot of stress yes?
The issues with either eating more chocolate or alcohol that we need is that it puts our body out of balance by increasing our calorie consumption, resulting in weight gain, it affects and interferes with our body processes and doesn’t address the underlying problem, meaning it requires persistent administration to get the desired numbing affect.
Mind Detox helps a person do many things, but the two mains one are – identify the emotion behind the problem, and the reason for that emotion to exist.
With the Mind Detox Method, we elicit what emotion has become stuck and not yet fully experienced, and with the help of a therapist, we are able to put our conscious awareness on it, and start to heal what is problematic for us letting it go and be free for good.

Conscious awareness

Conscious awareness is a wonderful thing, and with the help of some great questions, you are able to fully experience and justify why it would be better to let this problem go and have a more healthy relationship with life than remain stuck.
I know from first hand experience, what difficult experiences could lead to choosing to numb ourselves out with alcohol and sugary foods after my dear horse and best friend of 17 years passed away earlier this year. The evening of that day I found myself in a supermarket a lot shaken up, discombobulated and quite raw. If it had not been for the incredible support and love from the people around me, I would have quite likely seen food and alcohol as a way to connect to something that helped me cope and manage with the experience I was going through.
A Mind Detox therefore offers a dual benefit; the love, guidance and support of a therapist, and the chance to unearth and heal the difficult emotion that drives behaviours such as food addiction.
This may take a few sessions, as sometimes compound experiences over a period of time creates a cluster of emotions that we have turned to food to solve. For that reason, I would always recommend a person starts with a series of 3 sessions, and keeps going till they know they have cleared all of their food addictions – with a view to returning if after a period of time if their addiction comes back because that shows something new to be healed has come up.
If you would like to know more about Mind Detox, book an Intro Session or sign up to a course of 3 sessions to start your journey to a healthier life please visit: www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk and start your journey to a happier and free-er you.

20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lrBecci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerReiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

Breakthrough Day special offer

Come 1st September 2016, I will be putting up my prices for my Breakthrough Days to reflect my expanding knowledge and the results I get.

Breakthrough Days are a great opportunity to make use of all my expertise in one concentrated day of powerful life changing experiences.

SummerhouseSo that is access to all my Reiki, Meditation, Mind Detox and Horse Assisted Education knowledge to direct at a challenge of your choice so you can turn your life around in a short space of time!

In these are powerful days you relax into your true essence, re-connect to your inner wisdom, let go of what is holding you back and develop the skills to move you forwards.

People use them to overcome difficult situations like a recent redundancy, divorce, getting back to work after a period of ill health or to overcome a block so that they can honour their truth and do the work they were put on this earth to do or just enjoy life again!

Together we create bespoke day from all my treatment options, coupled with a healthy lunch in a beautiful location. To sum it up a client shared their experience by saying:

“I spent a wonderful day with Becci and her horses Toby, Murphy and Squirrel. A day of contemplation, focusing on some issues that I had experienced in my life which I had found difficult to comes to terms with in the past and a very recent stressful work related situation. I found Becci to be incredibly understanding, thoughtful, patient and she really listened to what I wanted to achieve from the day. She built up an understanding early on as to the issues I wanted to address and then tailored the day to meet my needs. We did a meditation session, Reiki and a Mind Detox and then spent time with the horses. I found working with the horses incredibly helpful in the process of working through my issues and allowed me an opportunity to focus my mind on future aims and goals. I found the entire day to be incredibly positive and it gave me a real sense of happiness and well-being.

It was an experience I will carry with me and I thoroughly recommend it to anyone wishing to tackle problems they may have faced with a view to effect a positive future.”

So for a limited time only, I’ve chosen to freeze my prices for all bookings taken in July and claimed by the end of August at £450. That is 10% cheaper than they will be from 1st September 2016 onwards.

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To make use of this deal, complete the contact form below by the 31st July 2016 telling me why you’d like to Breakthrough and let’s schedule a time for you to start creating the future you want!

Healing from complex PTSD

C-PTSD
PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), can affect anyone, and it doesn’t have to be from big things like being in a war torn country or experiencing physical abuse.
For some, PTSD happens as a result of not having your needs listened to, bereavement of a close family pet, feeling like you are under pressure to perform well at school and in exams, not fitting in your community (particularly when you are small), or being subtly bullied at work or at home.
When an event has been more stressful that you’ve had support to deal with, the chances are you’ll be left with an unresolved amount of trauma – resulting in PTSD.
Talking about, and resolving the experiences behind what has been difficult for you is an extraordinarily liberating experience. Being heard, FULLY heard, re-engages our ability to trust and have confidence in life and our Selves again.
Each of us has our own journey, but in my 5 years as a practitioner I have seen people start new relationships, return back to work, open up to family and partners about their experiences, let go of anger, hurt and sadness and make brave choices to start new ventures that would have been previously impossible.

Brain plasticity

This is because the brain is very plastic, and it is never what happened that is a problem for you, but WHY it was a problem for you. Seeing as feelings are sustained by stuck, unaddressed emotions, sometimes fuelled by inaccurate beliefs – both unearthing those inaccurate beliefs and putting our consciousness on the emotion we keep re-experiencing, we are able to shift and transmute our experiences to something new, and experience something new.
By telling the body, the event is over, we are safe now, the parasympathetic nervous system is able to re-engage, bring down our levels of anxiety and enable us to re-engage in the present moment. This is what enables us to take on new challenges, and start to enjoy new experiences.
If you, or someone you know is experiencing complex PTSD, it may be that Mind Detox can help.
Mind Detox advert
Mind Detox aims to find and resolve why a particular event was a problem for you. By getting very clear on what is specifically a problem for you, you start to unravel the thought processes that produce the symptoms of PTSD. We then resolve each one, looking at what enables you to let go of this difficult experience? It is this powerful antidote learning that enables your body to return to a resting state of peace. It doesn’t stop the event from being an awful or a horrible experience that you would never wish on anyone, it simply changes your relationship to it, so you can now experience peace and move on.
And isn’t that all any one wants, peace? By taking on, what is difficult for you, you take the whole world one step closer to it.

20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lrBecci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerMaster Reiki Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

The story behind the story – why you are really ill or suffering

I had a client contact me today, asking my view on a particular treatment. I am not a treatment expert, nor will I ever be, but really, that wasn’t what the email was about.

See this person, wasn’t really concerned about the treatment they had signed up to, more that the situation had brought up an experience of uncomfortable feelings and truthfully, that is what they wanted help with.

This is where I find my Mind Detox training to be excellent. I have been lovingly trained to look for the story behind the story, and for the blindspot in my clients perspectives.

This is where our discomfort, pain and illness comes from – the resistance to what is. To add to it, this is often fuelled by years of the same resistant behaviour and the build up of stress and emotions that goes with a period of unresolved experiences.

The resistance to what is, is behind all our greatest problems. Sometimes this is a resistance to listening and acknowledging our own inner voice, other times it is a resistance to the idea others are doing the best they can with the resources they have, or it might be a resistance to our life path and they way things are going for us.

Control the controllables

Contrary to how some may have you believe, it is my experience there are some thing you can’t change in life. It is those things we are invited to grow to become accepting and compassionate of, whilst making changes in the areas we can.

We might not be able to change the race, gender, economic situation or family we are born into, but we can change our relationship to it.

This doesn’t mean we are victims of our circumstances – far from it. In my experience, our difficult experiences are opportunities for growth. How often have you protested at not wanting to do something because it was difficult only to get the greatest pleasure from accomplishing it after?

When you consciously realise life isn’t there to trip you up and be difficult, you start to experience a thrilling and challenging journey with purpose and passion and with many that will support and cheer you along the way. And to me, that is my definition of freedom.

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20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lrBecci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerMaster Reiki Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.