Just for today, be grateful

​Today, I will be grateful, but not for the little or usual things – today I have tasked myself to be grateful for all the things that I would normally be resistant to. 

So for me that might be something like how I feel (which is dozy), the large amount of work I have, demands on my time outside of work and how much pressure I feel under sometimes. Today I am going to be grateful for all THOSE things.

Gratitude has an enormous, transformational power. It doesn’t have the ability to change your circumstances, but it does have the ability to change your relationship with them. 

When we become grateful for something that is difficult for us, we expand our capacity to love, accept and move forwards through experiences rather than being stuck.

And being well is all about moving through experiences, whereas being ill is all about being stuck.

So join me in a day of gratitude. Together, let’s strengthen our capacity to move forwards and be well.
If you like what is written here, you’ll like our Tuesday and Friday morning Meditation and Development groups. We talk about important topics such as the impact gratitude has on our life and health and apply to our lives through a meditation practice. For more information visit www.facebook.com/MindDetoxTunbridgeWells/events

Symptoms aren’t always bad

I’ve been a bit quieter than normal this week because I’ve had an interesting digestive issue. The experience has required me to be a bit more gentle with myself, look at some of the reasons I might be going through this, and doing the psychotherapy work to clear the cause of the issue.
I’ve been on a health journey since I was 19, so 19 years now, and in that time I’ve got to see a good many things, delve deep and prove and disprove myself a number of times.
One of the things I have learnt on my journey, is to not jump to the conclusion when a bunch of symptoms crop up that it’s a bad thing. Having been both sides of the health experience, first as a client, and then as a provider – I’ve a unique insight into the inner and outer world of humans. By this I mean the impact of our mind (thinking), our relationship to our mind, and the content of our thinking.
Our thoughts influence the way we behave, and our relationship to our thoughts affects how present we are to life (versus being distracted). When we are distracted, we pay attention to our thoughts whether positive or negative. We might do this by analysing them, reliving them, having thoughts about our thoughts! In doing so we take our attention away from being aware of the bigger picture and instead put all our focus on one small thing and make it bigger. It doesn’t matter whether this thought is truthful, healthy or of value or not, when we become very involved with a thought, we are capable of becoming only aware of that thought, to the exclusion of everything else. This is what we do when we become obsessed with something. We become addicted to the biochemistry and experience that the thought produced and we seek what it gave us over and over again – unsustainably.
To be attached to our thoughts like this, is to live a rollercoaster experience, swinging from high to low. We constantly feel like their is no stability, we have no certainty and we have lost control. The more we think, the more our mind will give us to think about, so then we find we can’t stop thinking and then we feel overwhelm a desire to let go of thinking and have it all stop – almost everyone I know has had that experience.
It’s critical to know when we’ve become lost in thought. Typical symptoms of being lost in thought are:
– Stressed
– Feeling vulnerable
– Overwhelmed
– Scared
– Disconnected
– Anxious/afraid
– Depressed
– Ill
– Emotional
– Analysing/paranoia
These are all key signs that we have become trapped in our mind, and we’re not using our full faculties such as heart, gut and soul to live.
So when I got symptoms for something, this week, the first thing I knew I needed to do was put my Self into a still, silent, space and stop the mind chatter that, if I am honest, has been building up for a while.

An opportunity to go inwards

The great thing about being ill, when you allow yourself to be ill and not in denial about it, it means it’s OK to stop and not work for a bit. Being ill is an opportunity to go inwards and clear something that’s been playing out for you – for my case for quite a while, though till this week, I’d not prioritised it enough to address it.
So I spent some time looking and listening inwards, asking my Self, what was really going on with my body that right now fully needed my attention? (Looking and listening – not analysing – big difference). I made some lifestyle choices with my food and went and sought professional advice (outside opinions are critical to seeing an experience objectively). As I delved in to explore the experience, I kept constantly saying “Thank you” – as I know this has come up for me now at a time I can address it and I will be better off when it has gone.
I used Sandy Newbigging’s BODY CALM techniques to clear out some of the unhelpful habitual thoughts I have that cause any body to be stuck and not in a state of flow. These techniques address issues and beliefs for things such as not being secure, supported and strong enough – common mis-held beliefs around those that are sick.
As I used the techniques, I could feel old, stifling beliefs come up to be released – really unhelpful old beliefs that stop people asking for help, trusting those around them to take of them, their own ability to let go of an issue and return to balance, and that they deserve to be well. Using the directory at the back of the book, I was able to delve into the common reasons for digestive issues and acknowledge those that were true for me. They gave me deep and valuable insight into behaviour patterns I hadn’t been aware of, and the CALM thought to bring me back to centre. As the week has progressed, my symptoms have subsided and instead I get the feeling I am being given the most wonderful opportunity. My body is clearly giving me the chance to fully let go of my unhelpful thinking, feeding back through physical symptoms when I am on the right track. My reason to stick with it and see it through to the end? No longer being sick!!
I don’t expect my Self to clear this issue instantly (though I may). It’s taken me years to get this sick, I’ve been working hard at making myself unwell! So I appreciate it is going to take me time to reverse my illness – just like it did with my M.E. The powerful thing being, if I created it, I can uncreate it. There is no reason why I should remain ill.
Am I weak for getting ill? No! I am human and I have picked up all sorts of different stresses and mis-placed beliefs throughout my life. This latest illness is just the opportunity to look at this area of my life and make different decisions that won’t just affect my health, but many other areas of my behaviour, relationships for others, ability to be a practitioner and general wellbeing.
So my illness is really a gift, and my symptoms are a great reminder of whether I am on track or not – and they are welcome to stay, support and guide me on my journey, as long as they need.

20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lr

Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerReiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.


BOOK REVIEW: Sandy Newbigging’s BODY CALM

Body Calm is a meditation technique for your body working with the body’s innate ability to heal and return to normal when given the right environment. CALM stands for Consciousness Aware Life Meditation. The book (and audio cd) is written by health and meditation expert Sandy Newbigging, author of Peace for Life, Heal the Hidden Cause, Thunk, Mind Calm, New Begginings and most recently Calmology (not yet published).

Body Calm is a step by step guide to the Body Calm technique, how harmony heals and how to go deeper with the technique and embody it into your life.

Written in three parts, part 1 looks at the importance of rest, the scientific research behind the benefits of meditation, the consequences of a busy mind and the basic Body Calm technique and the reason for the Body Calm phrases. The basis of the technique is to apply a state called GAWWO  (Gently Alert with your Awareness Wide Open) to switch off thoughts (it is impossible to think in GAWWO) and then from that state introduce a Body Calm statement that has life affirming properties, then locate that statement in a specific part of the body before returning to GAWWO.

Part 2 looks in greater depth at the mind-body connection. It looks how beliefs drive our experiences, why you want to be in harmony with your emotions, how to release yourself from being stuck in the past, out of love with the present, hating your body or being unwilling to listen to your heart. Sandy explains the content vs context model to shift yourself from problem focus to context focus and the power that that has to bring you peace.

Finally, part 3 of the book looks at how to take the Body Calm knowings and apply it to your specific situation. This section contains a fabulous directory of health issues and their common causes. Born out of his extensive meditation and Mind Detox work, Sandy has created a quick and easy guide that looks at the parts of the body, the organs of the body and illnesses of the body, and supplied a Calm thought for each that might be out of harmony through mind-body-soul conflict.

For example, the mind based cause of gall stones is listed as:

“Unresolved hurt(s), loss, feeling like you should have done more with your life, anger towards self, unforgiveness”

The calm thought is: “I am peace with what’s happened and capable of creating.”

I found the book to be exceptionally well written, and apart from the science section I found it a fiendishly easy and practical read. The technique itself is very easy and is well explained and I felt inspired to play with it. There are helpful tips along the way too, so just when I found myself thinking “ah, BUT…” the tips helped me remain connected to the book’s core message and not get caught up in resistant thoughts.

The middle section gives you a very compelling reason to explore all that the book has to offer. Even as a Mind Detox practitioner I added to my knowledge base and felt heartened that messages and experiences conveyed. I enjoyed too that Sandy thinks along the same lines as me – that with the right insight into how us human beings operate; you can transform your life experience. I genuinely felt the book had been written as a conversation to me personally.

The directory at the back provides such a valuable and absolutely fascinating insight into the causes of many common illnesses, a truly eye opening experience. With the rest of the book so well written to appeal to the lay person, I have every confidence when I give this to my clients that they will be able to appreciate and understand it’s message and the technique to bring greater clarity and calm to their life. A life changing read.

 Both books are available in hard copy via Amazon, and on Kindle for under £10 and via Sandy’s website: www.sandynewbigging.com/sandysbooks

Why you over think and a much easier alternative

Overthinking can lead to serious problems

When your mind is thinking incessantly is has a grip on you that pulls you out of reality and into an imaginal world. 

We can often notice it in others, severe depression and pessimistic behaviour and speaking, living a fast paced life fuelled by the need to impress or be liked or distorted perceptions around our body.

These scenarios happen because when put into a stressful situation that we couldn’t cope with (often when we were young) we did the only thing we knew, try and think our way out of the problem. 

And this becomes our default response to stress, thinking.

We look for all our problems and try and ‘fix’ them, we obsess over what is wrong, we mither over what did ‘go wrong’, we worry about what ‘might’ go wrong – we’ll do anything to not go back to a non-thinking state because for us, this is when the problem happened and we associate that state with not being safe.

When in this situation of over thinking or ‘mind-grip’ we begin to move into dangerous territory. Addiction, bulimia, anorexia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, suicidal thoughts, self-harm – these are all driven by the mind over-thinking. 

Like an unruly teenager left to run riot, our mind can go bezerk and our body, relationships and life all cop the consequences. 

By the time we realise our mind has a grip on us or the that we have the symptoms of mind-grip, often we’ve been heading down a mind-led destructive path for a while.
It can be different though. 
An over-thinking mind can be addressed, people can find alternative ways to deal with life stress; people can recover.

When thinking is such a common response to stress it is unsurprisingly then, that the practice of meditation – a way of permitting the thinking mind to release it’s grip and return to a resting state – is as old as humans are.

Very few people are exempt from life stress and the mind’s knee-jerk reaction to overthink – so meditation has been a widespread practice through all cultures since the beginning of time.

Meditation allows us to process our experiences through the greater awareness that is our true essence, rather than analysis, rumination and over thinking. It brings in a far greater resource, one that is capable of experiencing anything and remain unharmed. This part of us does not judge, have an attachment to how things ‘should’ look, push away what it doesn’t like – this part of us is simply an observer to it all. It’s truly the most beautiful part of you, a place of deep completeness and love. 

The solutions to our symptoms caused by mind-grip is to rest in this bigger part of ourselves and stay there. 

To some it might sound crazy right? No-one ever told you about any such thing when you were growing up, and in part – you might be right! 
But you know now.
There’s this big huge resource known as your awareness that can cope with anything – bereavement, divorce,  poverty, job losses, bullying, ill heath, abuse – it can cope with the lot and remain completely intact and unmoved. 

Not only that, but resting in this part of us is the easiest thing to do in the world! Thinking is hard, whereas resting in awareness is easy.
In part 2 of this article, I will look at the ways you can return yourself to a resting and aware state and how to stay there. We’ll look at what your experiences might be like in this state and to be aware of the ways your mind might try to draw you back to thinking (it’s what you know after all!)

And if any of the above resonates and you’d like to find out more, get in touch via www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk and let’s schedule a time to talk.

Praise vs blame – how unfelt emotions and inaccurate beliefs are keeping you stuck

A client was sharing with me this morning how dramatically her life had turned around since doing Mind Detox. She’d been doing other approaches too, along side meditation and Reiki sessions, but for her it was the Mind Detox that had created the shift.

At the same time, I had been pondering the futility of blame. It had come my attention, that blame is something we do, or have been taught to do, when we don’t want to feel something. For example, I blame the weather for my mood, or I blame my parents for not teaching me right or wrong. The moment I blame, I give away all power and stop my Self from feeling blue, or the healthy shame from making a mistake that stops you doing it again.


Blame: responsibility for a fault or wrong

By doing blame (which is one of the lowest vibration emotions out there), I don’t stop the emotions being present, I just don’t feel and therefore allow them to pass. And if I don’t feel and allow my emotions to pass, that must mean that I store them up adding to them each time I choose blame over feeling.

To have a more realistic understanding of our relationship with blame, I invite you to do a little exercise. Notice where in your life you apportion blame. It may be for something small like the state of the kitchen, or for something big, like the state of the economy. Blame has become such a subtle, yet prevalent part of our culture, I found I wasn’t aware I was doing it till I looked and then I became horrified how often it showed up in our media and day to day conversations.

One of the things I do, is blame others for my mood. Being very empathic (sensitive to others), I am easily swayed by the moods of others, and then I am very good at blaming them for the way I feel.

Working with my example of being empathic, you have to ask, what gain does blame bring me? The answer is, not having to be responsible for my experience and to not have to feel some of the despair, sadness, hurt and anger of some of the people that come to me. To sit with the emotions of others, to not judge them, to accept them and be deeply and unconditionally loving is a tough thing to do and if I am honest, I don’t always want to do it!

But if we know this quick fix cure of blame isn’t working for me, leaving me disconnected and overwhelmed by emotion – what can I do to be ok and be at peace with life?

The later is a very good question (great lives are full of people asking very good questions). Asking my Self, at a time when I am not in the throws of wanting to blame others, I am able to put together some useful strategies and suggestions to navigate those experiences where I am so quick to jump to blame. In my example I could:

  • stop, put my Self into a meditative state and be present for the person that is struggling
  • be encouraging and supportive and show I am listening
  • take time out to recover and put something back in after if I feel depleted
  • be compassionate (love + wisdom), is there a solution that person would be open to that might help?
  • accept things as they are, including the fact I am an empath and I need to look after my Self as a result
  • drop all judgement
  • feel what I am feeling fully in the context of space
  • ask for support
  • know the person that is in a bad mood isn’t doing so on purpose, their mood is not a reflection of how they feel about me but more likely a reflection of their inner judgement of themselves. In short, it’s not personal
  • set boundaries. If there is someone that puts me in a bad mood more than I can handle maybe bring it to their attention and speak with them about it. If that is not an option, consider my suitability in that situation – I might be wise to remove my Self from the problem
  • ask someone to help me see if I have a blindspot that is putting those around me into a bad mood in the first place
  • build up my inner resilience and compassion, so I can handle challenging situations and can offer more solutions.

As you can see, there is a lot I can do that keeps my power within my Self, rather than giving it away to the person, place or thing I am blaming.

So why praise?

Praise is an alternative to blame. Praise is an appreciation of something for what it is, and the opposite of criticism or judgement.

Thumbs Up

Praise is an uplifting emotion

Praise is an uplifting emotion. When we praise something, we are saying what we think is good about it, we are putting the energy of awareness into supporting more of what we want. Praise does not take away from the facts of a situation, more it looks for the good in and allows us to accept things as they are. For example, when in my situation of being affected by other people’s moods, I could choose to praise the following things:

  • that I am a sensitive and in tune being
  • I am kind and compassionate to others
  • I care about others
  • I want to make a difference and make the world a better place
  • I am able to be a supportive help to others
  • that I am being given the opportunity to grow and develop resilience
  • that I might want to seal my energy up and focus on my Self more, rather than paying so much attention to everyone else
  • that I am learning a useful and valuable life skill of a protective shield around who I am
  • that this is a chance to go inwards and be a powerful force for good, rather than scatter my energies outwards.

All that has a much more positive, growing, uplifting spin that dismissing an experience with blame. The later approach will not just benefit me at the time, but at all times. And of course, the capacity to extend it is endless. I am pretty sure it makes me a much nicer person to be around too.

So you see, the facts of the situation have not changed, but my relationship to it has.

Beliefs play their part

What brings about the shift, is how we change our beliefs about a situation. In Mind Detox we talk about beliefs being conclusions formed or around us at an early age. They may feel true, but they are based on inaccurate data that sees some, but not all of the equation.

No matter how much I believe I am not loved, the truth is, I am.There are times when the people around me behave in a way that doesn’t come from love, but this does not affect the fact I am loved underneath it all. Same with blame, we may believe that blame is the best way to deal with something, but it is an incomplete awareness that costs us in the accumulation of unfelt emotions.

Beliefs can be very powerful saboteurs of our happiness and our success. Many atrocities have happened on the base of beliefs. We may punish ourselves for not being smart enough, or spend years in the belief we must look a certain way to fit in whilst neglecting our inner pull to accept ourselves and know we are ok as we are. When skillfully challenged, our beliefs don’t hold weight and that is when we see them as powerful drivers of our behaviour, based on some or misleading data.


With the Mind Detox Method, we work with both beliefs and emotions. In significant difficult experiences, if the emotion is not fully felt at the time, a belief may form to support the emotions existence. Life may go on, but the emotion remains unresolved and the belief continues to support it. This has the consequence of dumping the biochemical response of that belief into our bodies day in day out, multiple times a day as the unconscious mind mulls it over and over.

For example, the belief “I am not loved” (accompanied with the emotion of sadness) may cause a person to shut down and become introvert. It may cause you or me to put off making new connections for fear of rejection and evoking the original emotion of sadness (which we are in the habit of wanting to avoid). We may find many reasons why we are not loveable. Perhaps we are not talented enough? Or we are not physically appealing enough? We might think we are the wrong age, gender, ethnicity or shape. We will literally scour our mind to find all the reasons to support the belief we are not loved.

We’ll go to the ends of the earth to find evidence for these beliefs too. It is the nature of the mind that it will continue to find evidence to prove our beliefs true (the opposite is a somewhat stressful experience called cognitive dissonance). As we seek to find more and more evidence, we might change the way we behave. We might, for example, try extra hard at a sport or an art form to get love and approval from that (whist all the time, secretly trying to prove that no matter what, we are not loveable). If that doesn’t work, we may become disillusioned, and look for love in a chemical addiction, through things such as drink, drugs or food – except deep down we know that that doesn’t work either. Eventually, we may get so caught up on our beliefs that we are not loved, and it cause us so much suffering and pain, we may consider ending our life.

So as you can see, beliefs, emotions and how we respond play a pivotal part in our life experiences. Clearing out our sabotaging beliefs and letting go of the emotions that go with them, goes a long way towards creating the shifts my client this morning was talking about. For her the shift has been dramatic and instant. What is different for her now is, she is calmer and freer in her body. People respond to her differently now, she finds they are warmer and more patient. She’s also cleared some significant blocks around her creativity, and whilst there might be a little more to be done, she is moving forwards with projects and ventures that she wasn’t able to before. Even the death of a parent was easier to handle because her overall stress was lower.

In my experience, almost everybody has some form of inaccurate beliefs and stuck emotions – that is the nature of being human. If you feel, that your issues come from something much deeper than you are aware of, you find yourself doing the blame thing, or you simply want to be freer and happier, like my client – let’s talk. Mind Detox is a positive experience, and whilst we do access the stuck emotions in our body, it is usually only for the short amount of time it takes for us to put our consciousness on them to release them. Clearing the emotion, couple with the belief and putting a new habitual neural pathway in its place so you respond differently next time plays a big part in changing the way we respond to experiences and therefore our outcomes.

20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lrIf you would like to have an initial chat, to see if Mind Detox is right for you, I can be called on +44 (0)1892 853518 or contacted via the form below.

Sessions can be done in person, or via the internet via Skype. Mind Detox sessions can be used to let go of a problem, or help you reach a goal that is eluding you, with a large amount of ground being covered in a short amount of time. The purpose of the practitioner, is to help you find the blindspot that holds you back that you are unable to see yourself.

For fees and to learn more about Mind Detox you can visit my main website here: www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk


​Introducing me, and how I work with you

Photo credit: Barbara Yeo Photography

Some studies indicate that the greatest component of any therapeutic intervention is the Therapeutic Alliance*. Simply put, this is the relationship between the client and the therapist and the therapeutic dynamic that happens as a result. In a strong therapeutic alliance the therapist will employ good listening, understanding and empathy skills. They will take your concerns seriously, whilst being able to maintain their own integrity and hold a powerful non-judgemental space for the therapy to take place in.

Other studies purport that it is sticking to the therapeutic technique that gets the greatest benefit for clients, with a mishmash of approaches reducing the therapeutic outcomes. 

It figures therefore, than attention to both is required. 

Thankfully, the Mind Detox Method is a script, so there’s little room for deviation. The power of the technique comes from the wording that speaks directly to the unconscious part of your brain. This is how we are able to recall where your problem started. By overwriting this part of your memories with a more harmonious and neutral response, we are able eliminate the stress you are currently experiencing, allowing your emotional state and/or body, to return to resting/normal.

And as for me? Well, I got into this because I got repeated feedback I was a good listener. I love helping people realise their innate inner beauty, and having lived through a fair number of challenges myself I know how capable and resilient we are. I love nothing more than being a source of support for people that perhaps don’t have their own, which I couple with a belief in your limitless potential. I am ambitious in what I want you to achieve, because I know with the right support anything is possible. My clients usually see outcomes immediately but for real significant change I suggest they give it six months. Particular successes are clients returning to work after many months off for stress, dealing with and releasing past trauma for a better present moment experience, better relationships with friends and family, starting new relationships, starting new creative ventures, a more harmonious experience at work, improved skin, peace with the menopause and better digestive health. 


I am playful and relaxed in my approach, taking full advantage of the exceptional rural clinic setting I am based in (which is stress-reducing in itself). I realise that therapy works best when the individual is fully engaged and motivated to accomplish their outcomes and I work with you before, during and after to ensure that. Best of all, the positive coaching feel of the Mind Detox Method means that many don’t see it as therapy, opening themselves up more to the process and getting a better result.  

If this sounds like something you would be interested in, I am available Monday and Tuesday afternoons and Wednesday mornings (British Summer Time).  A block of three sessions to look at and resolve what the cause of your problem is costs £225 and can be done weekly or over a 6 week basis. This includes pre- and post- support, with discounted follow up sessions if they are necessary. 

Visit www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk to find out more and check out some of the success stories.
* http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/pst/38/4/357/
#therapy #coaching #trauma #relationships #health

Counselling, Psychotherapy, Coaching, Mind Detox and Meditation – which one when?

Hi, my name is Becci, and I am a Mind Detox Practitioner and a Meditation & Development Group leader. I help people going through mild depression, anxiety, stress related illnesses and tough life experiences to turn their life around so they can be at peace with what is happening and move forwards to fulfil their potential.

One of the challenges I know people face when life gets difficult is knowing what kind of support they need. They might be going through things like a divorce, a stressful work experience, postnatal depression, a deep feeling of dissatisfaction, a health crisis or they find themselves blocked an unable to move forwards, sometimes even too afraid to leave the house.

When we get into one of these situations, the last thing we need to do is have to work out what can help us, so it’s good to know a bit about what sort of support and help is out there so you know who to go to for help, when.

Mental health, it’s worth paying attention to


According to Mind, one in four people will experience some kind of mental health illness

According to the UK Mental Health Charity Mind, one in four people will experience some kind of mental health illness in their lifetime such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, schizophrenia or bi-polar disorder. I would argue, taking into account short periods of mental health issues such as exam stress or bereavement, that this figure is far more like four in four people will experience some kind of significant mental illness or mental health stress at some point in their life.

Once a poor distant relative of physical health, it is my view that mental health is worthy of a place in any healthcare system as much as physical health (and spiritual health). To me as a Mind Body expert, I feel this even more strongly as I know that the body is a manifestation of the mind, and the number one cause of all illness in this world is “stress”.

Our mind is a powerful tool that influences our behaviour, relationships and ultimately our wellbeing – so in my view it is an essential part of any healthcare and wellbeing programme. Our mind, quite literally, has the capacity to shut us down, or drive us to do things we wouldn’t normally do – so it is important we have a healthy relationship with it.

So what does each technique do?

I’m going to start with counselling, as this is the oldest recognised profession by the National Health Service (NHS) in the UK. The word “Counsel” means to give advice, yet ironically, a counsellor’s job is to support an individual experiencing personal, social, or psychological problems and difficulties, without giving advice. A counsellor will provide a safe and confidential place, so people can explore their difficulties, free of judgement and opinion. A counsellor might use skills such as active listening, clarification, reflection and effective questioning skills to help the client to see things more clearly in a way that is perhaps not possible with family and friends. Counselling tends to remain in the domain of the present moment, looking at ways of expressing the emotions of and ways of dealing with current challenges. Counselling is not designed to help you change the way you behave, it designed to help you to cope better with the resources you already have.

Psychotherapy is literally therapy for our psyche (the conscious and unconscious mind) and looks at how our thoughts influence our present behaviour. This may mean exploring past experiences, as a way resolving our present life challenges. This is appropriate when we still carry trauma from difficult experiences that cause us to behave differently now. Psychotherapy may ask us to reprocess old experiences so that we can release them from our consciousness. There are many different styles of psychotherapy that work with us and influence us in different ways. Some look at your experiences from an analytical perspective, some from a behavioural and others from the sensations and experiences you experience in your body. The goal of psychotherapy is to resolve current challenges that are mental in origin so we can lead a healthy and fulfilling life.

Coaching is way of developing people’s skills and abilities, and of boosting performance so that they can reach their full potential. This may be done when an individual has a problem, or done proactively to get the best out of a person. A coach and their client will set a defined intention or goal for a session or number of sessions such as change career and then take a number of steps to reach that goal. Like counselling, coaching believes the individual has all the resources within to complete their desired outcome, but unlike counselling, a coach may instruct, train and actively aim to develop skills within an individual to help them achieve that outcome.  Coaching doesn’t focus on the past. Instead, if issues from the past surface as a reason for someone not being able to move forwards in life, a coach would refer this person on to get help specifically for that, before coming back to the coaching programme to move forwards through focused action and skills development to reach their goal.

Mind Detox, like counselling, psychotherapy and coaching, is talking based. Taking the positive goal setting elements from coaching, in Mind Detox you start by getting clear on what it is you want to let go of, or gain giving the mind a positive final destination to aim for. In a Mind Detox session, we work with the Unconscious Mind, the seat of all our behaviours, memories and healing. The aim of the session is to clear a historic reason why a problem or issue is currently showing up in your life. Mind Detox is very direct and efficient and discovering and resolving the cause of your problems. A Mind Detox session can be used to clear difficult feelings and emotions around a past experience so you can move on and be at peace, or to resolve a current life challenge such as a fear of heights, inexplicable weight gain or health conditions that may have an emotional origin.


Young female meditate in nature

Meditation helps us to let go of overthinking and become aware of our true nature.

Meditation, unlike the other three is something that can be done whether we have challenges in our life or not. Part of a healthy self care programme, meditation helps us to let go of overthinking and become more aware of our true nature. Done through a number of techniques, true meditation has the ability to put space between our thinking and the true essence of who we are. It is a path of self-exploration and a way of being better able to let go of thinking when it is not needed. Meditation is useful for everyone, but those that want a deeper connection to Self or find they are unable to let go of thoughts and/or feelings tend to find it most helpful of all. In meditation we learn to appreciate that we have a mind, but it is not who we are. Unlike Mind Detox or coaching, we are not looking to change our mind, simply our relationship to it. And unlike counselling, we are not looking to talk out our problems, instead letting them go knowing we do not need to hold on to the content. By doing so, our mind has far less influence over us and we become more connected to the wisdom of our whole body. Many find the benefits of meditation is an increased awareness of life and clarity of body, mind and soul.


Which one when?

It can be tricky to know which technique you need when, so here’s a little breakdown to help.

Counselling is great when you just want to talk and have someone listen and help you problem solve your challenge yourself. A counsellor will be a strong and supportive person that see’s you as whole and capable, and will believe in your abilities and skills to create your own solutions.

Psychotherapy is great when you want to talk about your problems and find out where they are coming from. Psychotherapy mixes counselling skills with the ability to look at how the past shapes your present and can help you to develop strategies to cope. This is useful when you want to learn new ways to deal with a problem and let go of difficult feelings from the past.

Coaching is great when you want to achieve a goal. Coaches will help you to create a goal/goals and a framework to complete them within, so you can achieve, even when they seem a bit scary. It is a positive, forward focusing activity that draws on your existing skills and talents and facilitates you learning new ones.

Mind Detox advertMind Detox is great when you know or suspect something in your past is responsible for the problem you are experiencing in the present. A Mind Detox practitioner will help you discover and resolve the thought process and emotion behind your behavioural or health problem, without having to go into the whole story. Those that like Mind Detox do so because it is very quick to get to the core of the issue,  has a positive forward focus of getting well, and goes back only to remove the issues that hold you back. A counsellor, coach, health professional or meditation teacher may refer someone to a Mind Detox practitioner to remove a psychological block that is preventing them from moving forwards.

Meditation is something I would recommend people do at least once a day on a daily basis as part of a positive health care programme. It is a choice to purposefully rest the mind, (which reduces stress levels) and helps us to develop a strong sense of our true self. Different types of meditation have different benefits, with some being stronger at bringing mental clarity and letting go of old beliefs, whilst others help us become loving and accepting of our current circumstances and others develop a stronger connection to our spiritual side. A balanced meditation practice will do all three as well as allow us to pause and make choices from a place of love before we respond to stimulus. Meditation may help us clear old trauma simply through us becoming unattached from and letting go of thoughts and beliefs that no longer support us. Meditation does not however, help us to change our thoughts, which is the domain of psychotherapy, coaching and Mind Detox.


I hope the above goes some way to explaining the differences, which can be confusing to those first starting out exploring mental health. It may also throw light on where a different approach to the one you are currently taking may be helpful – for example, learning to meditate to help with anxious thoughts, rather than trying to change every anxious thought we have – or moving from counselling to coaching to achieve a particular outcome. The most important thing to do is to discuss what you want to get out of a session or sessions with your potential counsellor, therapist or coach. You need to make sure you are confident they understand your challenges, what you want to accomplish and they have the necessary skills and experience for the challenge you bring. In my experience, it is important to find someone you can trust and with whom you have a good relationship, so you can relax into the process and know you are taken care of.

20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lrBecci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerReiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.