I was finding myself pining to be with somebody I couldn’t be with, and I wondered when I decided I was separated from everyone else, aka lonely.
I decided I would Mind Detox myself on it.
“What event in my life is the cause of the loneliness, the first event which when resolved would cause the loneliness to disappear? If I was to know how old was I?”
I came up with a memory of me aged 12. I was at a school dance, or about to be at a school dance, standing in the school hall after the school day but we’ll before the event was to begin.
I come from a family of four children, so as a child I always had company and schools are usually full of children, so to be in a space that was usually bustling and was now eerily quiet was unusual for me. It caused me to make up a story about how isolated I was, how people didn’t love me and want to be with me, or would ever want to be with me.
That’s a giant leap from ‘Oh look I am on my own’ to ‘I’m not lovable now or in the future.’
The moment I became aware of the memory, I instantly realised, I was only alone because nobody had arrived yet!
It made me realise alone doesn’t have to equal lonely.
It’s funny how we interpret our life experiences, and how our interpretation of these experiences creates a blueprint to respond to a similar stimuli again until, if necessary, we challenge and change it.
An old story
Before I Mind Detoxed myself it meant every time I found myself unexpectedly alone or more alone than I wanted to be, I started to play out the old story of being not worthy of having any company. In reality, in the memory it was me that taken myself off and put myself in a place where nobody else was. It was me that had left everyone else, not the other way around.
With this new information I can remember three things:
1) If I am on my own, I will be with people again soon.
2) I don’t have to stay on my own. I have feet and I can travel, and I can go and find company.
3) We don’t have to physically be with people to be connected.
Even though in that memory, in that space and time, I was the only one in the room, I was:
– still a part of a family
– a member of multiple teams
– a student in a class of 30
I realised I was connected many, many ways to many people.
Connection is unseen, it exists in faith, trust and knowing. In exploring, I learnt to not turn away from connection and pretend it isn’t there, because it is, it ALWAYS is.
And that makes it OK to be alone.
Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential through one to one and group sessions (also available through Skype).