March dates and a special offer!!

Hello spring!

I don’t want to speak too soon, but hello spring!! I’m loving all the signs that new life is on its way!

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Some early daffodils indicating spring is on its way!

Anyone that knows me well, knows I adore nature. My degree at University (before I retrained to do healing work) was in Environmental Biology and I spent 6 years from 2003 onwards working as a Farm Conservation Adviser.

The rationale behind any conservation work is that to look after the environment is to look after ourselves (a lot like healing work really) and back in 2005 the ability to hear birdsong was one of the government’s indicators of a healthy environment for living in.

So it is no surprise that with all the healing work I do, one of the things I am particularly passionate about is time in nature. Even before I retrained I was committed to the idea that therapy sessions would be so much better if they took place in a nature setting rather than a stuffy, clinical and sterile room. This is because simply being out in nature is healing in itself and can often help people to relax.

Birdsong is one of the most divine sounds on earth, soil and plants have a wonderful smell if you stop to notice and the ability to feel the weather – whatever sort – upon your skin is such a gift. And that’s not including beautiful scenery, the good bacteria that live in an outdoor setting (particularly in biodiverse woodland) and the connection to a wide open space – where it is easy to let things go and is a great space for limitless thinking.

I currently live on a farm because I simply can’t imagine living anywhere else and have a threshold of about 1 1/2 days indoors before I go stir crazy and have to be outside for a while. Thankfully, I have three horses to look after, so being stuck indoors is rarely an option for me – but then that’s part of the reason I have them – they make me reconnect to nature a lot!

The seasons

I mention all this because, nature, like us has seasons and its own fluctuations and rhythms. In winter in the UK, the majority of plants and trees draw their energy inwards and conserve their efforts through the more difficult months. One of the reasons I love the first growth of spring so much is the reminder that abundance is on its way and the toughness of winter is over. It’s like being 3 weeks into your fitness regime and realising you’re not in complete agony all the time anymore – you’re beginning to build up some strength and resilience.

Spring also signifies new beginnings. After the contemplation period of winter, spring is a great time to put into effect new behaviours and action plans to create the life you would like to experience in 2015. It is the perfect time to lay the foundations for things like a healthier body, more time for exercise, a cleaner mindset or saying no to the things that no longer serve.

Nature has other cunning behaviours we would also be wise to take notice of. Have you noticed that not all plants shut down in winter? I have a winter flowering jasmine by my back door and holly and ivy flower in late autumn and fruit in winter. This is because nature knows if you can change to adapt your environment, you can thrive where there is less competition.

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Lichen is a master at thriving in adverse conditions

I will never forget on a training exercise in the Peak District a local and very knowledgeable ecologist pointed out a lichen that lived on the rock surface. There was no space for this plant to grow in the soil – competition was too fierce, but on the rock edge it had the whole environment to itself so long as it could live off the tiniest amount of nutrients possible and take its water from the rain.

Adaption is a means to survival. I took a very strong lesson from that small bit of lichen – I don’t have to be like everyone else – I can carve out a path for myself and I can have anything if I put my mind to it.

I love the fact a bit of lichen taught me to be limitless in my thinking and gave me the perspective if I can’t do the obvious, what can I do? When it comes to the no small matter of our lives, focusing on what we can, rather than what we can’t is essential in order to keep ourselves moving. Ultimately, we are in essence like water – always looking for the easiest way to flow downhill.

The Mind Detox connection

What has all this to do with Mind Detox? Well the mind is always looking for the easiest route to survive. In our formative years, when presented with a challenging experience we acted and behaved on what we new, thus laying down a pattern on how similar events would be reacted to later on in life. However, nature has a real sense of humour here, because the first 7 years of our life – when we are making up the framework from which we see all subsequent experiences through, is when we have the least amount of life wisdom and experience to draw our conclusions on.

This means we can come to some very odd conclusions indeed, such as parents divorcing is ‘our fault’, we were ignored because ‘we deserved it’ and that to see the world differently is to be ‘wrong and bad’.

One of the things we do when we do a Mind Detox session, is provide the mind with the easiest possible route to come to a new conclusion. We ask that this new conclusion helps and supports us and brings into account all the wisdom we have acquired in our adult years. This might be things such as:

  • divorce is rarely as a result of the children, but of the two adults involved
  • being ignored isn’t normal and loving behaviour but one of a person unaware of the implications or in immense pain and/or difficulty themselves
  • we are all unique and have our own gifts to bring.

Can you see how the later statements bear much less emotion and as a result would have a neutral or even positive impact on the body? We then install new statements such as these into the body-mind with new emotions such as kindness and compassion and simply overwrite the old unhelpful programming, permanently.

Special offer!!!

To help you spring into spring and make 2015 the year you remember for as the year you took charge of your destiny, I am offering 10% off a block of 3 Mind Detox sessions when booked before 20th March.

March offer
In addition, I am giving away a limited number of free 1hr Initial Consultations (normally £30) where you can discuss your health goals, learn more about Mind Detox and take away a relaxation technique you to start using straight away (available in Mark Cross and via Skype).

Please feel free to share this offer with your friends and family, particularly with anyone you know is struggling right now and ready to make a change but isn’t sure yet how to do it.

Next dates

After a fantastic Ascension meditation course in February, I am extra looking forward to this months meditation groups. As always our full set of Meditation Dates are up on the Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells Facebook event page. Please either sign up there or drop me a reply email to confirm your place. Remember, you are welcome to join us from afar – simply sit down at the same time with the intention to connect to you inner stillness and that will be enough.

  • Tues 3rd Mar, 10.30-11.30am, The Old Farmhouse, Forest Farm, Mark Cross
  • Tues 3rd Mar, 8-9.15pm – The Salt Cave, Vale Road, T Wells
  • Sat 7th Mar, 9.30-4pm Detox Day, The Old Farmhouse, Forest Farm, Mark Cross (see below)
  • Tues 10th Mar, 10.30-11.30am, The Old Farmhouse, Forest Farm, Mark Cross
  • Tues 10th Mar, 8-9.15pm – The Salt Cave, Vale Road, T Wells
  • Tues 17th Mar, 10.30-11.30am, The Old Farmhouse, Forest Farm, Mark Cross
  • Tues 24th Mar, 8-9.15pm – The Salt Cave, Vale Road, T Wells
  • Tues 31st Mar, 10.30-11.30am, The Old Farmhouse, Forest Farm, Mark Cross
  • Tues 31st Mar, 8-9.15pm – The Salt Cave, Vale Road, T Wells

Detox Day

I’m very excited to be co-leading a Detox Day with Nutrition guru Hannah Howard on Saturday this week. Looking at both physical and emotional detoxing, the day promises to be full of helpful information, fun, food and detoxing experiences to inspire you, time in nature and good habits to put into practice. There are a couple of spaces left, so click on the image below to go to the booking page to find out more and book your slot, for what is shaping up to be a brilliant day!

Detox Day
Click here to book.

And finally…

WP 20150302 004 1 I couldn’t help but share an image my gorgeous cat Daisy hanging out with me this morning as I wrote this. She’s a great example of a lady that knows and asks for what she wants and needs. This morning, it was to be with me, in a sunbeam. What is it for you?

Have a wonderful March!

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Let your dreams go!

Enjoyment - free happy woman enjoying sunset

In order to bring towards you what you want, you must let your dreams and desires go so that they may be returned to you in the Universe around you.

Manifestation of your dreams does not take place inside of you – it happens in the space between you and another.

If you are struggling to let something go, it tells you that you are not 100% clear on what you want, you don’t actually want it or you have some attachment to receiving that outcome.

Dreams, goals and desires will only come back to you when you are neutral and hold fertile ground in which they can manifest. Feelings like fear, need, not being enough will keep your dreams with you like a heavy burden, taunting you. You will not be able to let your dreams go till you clear any negative and resistant feelings connected to it by not needing a particular outcome either way and by being perfectly happy with what you have.

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Dreams and desires like to be pleasant surprises for us on top of what we already love. They love an open, abundant and grateful heart and love people that know how to find the beauty in everyday being. Who wouldn’t want to give even more to someone that is already perfectly happy and grateful with what they have? Or someone that is willing to live a life without what they desire? Both of these show a great deal of trust and faith plus deservedness and resilience.

So if you have a goal, dream or desire – write it down. Write how you would like to receive it, by when and who with. Then write down what life would be like with it, how would you feel, how would you act, what would others notice?

Now release that desire out into the Universe and trust.

In the meantime go back to focusing on the now and be grateful for what you have knowing the Universe has got your message. If it is meant to be yours then it will come back when you and it is ready. If it is not, then you won’t mind, because you are already peaceful and in love with what you have.

Receiving your dreams and desires is no better than what you already have – the only difference being true dreams are actually a knowing of what your future holds and therefore have a wonderful feeling of “being on track” and “knowing this is right” when they arrive.

And if you get something else other than your dream, then look for the gift it is giving you. It may be a similar but different type of experience, or the same experience you desired, but with someone else.
Be grateful for what you have – be grateful for the creationary process because to be anything else would be to block life flowing through you.

We are at the end of the day, creationary beings – we literally create the Universe through us.

Mis-takes and why they are your salvation

People often comment that they are surprised at what I am capable of, they could never see themselves able to lead and work with people in the way I do.

The answer is simple, I have tried many times and I have made many mis-takes; many many many mis-takes.

Work in progress

Thankfully I grew up in an environment where it was ok to make mis-takes. In this environment I was forgiven and, in time, allowed to try again. Each time I made an error I learnt to take responsibility for that error, given the opportunity to put it right, rewarded with a blank slate and given the opportunity to try a different way. Sometimes tho went on endlessly for weeks, months, even years.

What environment was this? It was an environment with horses.

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Donut – a very significant “teacher” in my life.

Horses, like so many animals, are incredible when it comes to sharing with us the forgiveness that comes with unconditional love.

There was many a time in my younger years when I lost my temper, blamed everyone else and missed the beauty of the moment directly in front of me. Horses gently showed me this strategy was unsuccessful and encouraged me to take responsibility for my feelings, actions and thus the outcomes I created. They showed me that instead, with patience and concentrated effort I did not need to control the world around me to feel or be successful, that purely by being here and in this moment I already was. They showed me that when I showed up and was fully present and in this moment they could be too and together we shone.

Because my horses taught me this, and because it has so much value I aim to bring this approach into my sessions. I’ll be honest, I’m not quite as good at it as my horses are, but I hope that in time I will be. And for those that need a first hand experience, you can always ask to get it ‘straight from the horses mouth’ so to speak and have a session with my equine team.

You can find out more about it here: www.horsesenseuk.com/courses/individual.aspx

The Universe Provides

Last night I found out that the two potholes my car hit had resulted in a flat tyre. Awh, shucks you think! I got to the garage this morning, and actually, they suggest I get two new tyres – both front ones had had it. Boo.

But no! I really have to be very grateful for this! Firstly, the tyres were old – I knew that they were close to the limit of road legality – I just hadn’t taken action on it yet and was going to get them done at its service in April. But hey, what a perfect time to have to replace a tyre! I now have two shiney new tyres at the time of year when you need good tyres the most – good thinking Universe.

Secondly, I haven’t had to pay silly main dealer prices. Instead I could go to my trusty local car tyre place and got exceptional service as always and now I know it’ll be MOT ready in April so that’s one less thing to have to think about before then.

And thirdly, they drive loads better – a nicer experience all round brought forwards a bit earlier than I was planning. Great!

The best bit about it is, I got a new piece of work come in last night that will more than cover today’s investment. And it is an investment. Driving my car around is important to me! a) I like doing it, and b) it gets me to places I want to go like sessions with clients, training experiences and the meditation group – which are fun things that I enjoy.

POsitivity Creates

There is opportunity in every challenge if you look for it. Focusing on the opportunity feels far better than focusing on the challenge. I believe we all have the resources we need to overcome any challenges that come our way, whether that’s our health, our state of mind or our performance at work.

Watch out for the nay-sayers that don’t feel this way and maybe choose to keep a wide berth. This world, a happy, peaceful, abundant and resourceful world is built on positivity, not negativity or resistance.

Why food detoxing without emotionally detoxing = failure

Happy New Year! It’s that time of year that everyone hits the gym and sets themselves New Year resolutions to be healthy, loose those Christmas pounds and make this the year they’re going to be a success.

I love this time of year, because its when I get to find out from everybody what they really want for themselves before they get bogged down in the complexity of it all and worn out from life stress and a non-stop lifestyle.

Life explained through punctuation

lose weightI always say that nightimes are like comma’s, weekends are like a full stop, long weekends are like a new paragraph, a week off is like a new chapter and a long break is like starting a new book. Each of these are opportunities to start fresh and the longer the break – the more change you are likely to make. So what with the good long break we have just had in the UK, I am certain lots of people will be looking to create new outcomes and make 2015 the year they loose weight and get themselves into the physical shape they know they are capable of.

However, it struck me that for all those people I know on Juice Fasts or ‘no chocolate till Easter’ or any other quick fix to get their health back on track – they’re missing a big part of the detox process – the reason they overindulged, put on weight or were too afraid to make changes in the first place.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a bit indulgence from time to time – mine was fudge this Christmas – we made some for gifts and I couldn’t get enough of the stuff! But now its back to working towards my long-term goals of staying healthy, vital and well and me eating large volumes of sugary fudge everyday doesn’t take me closer to that objective.

Mind_Power_test-e1385680979665Without looking at the emotional reasons why people’s weight is greater than they would like it to be I know that once they run out of steam to keep their new lifestyle going they are going to go straight back to their old eating patterns, despite their best efforts. How do I know this? Because the mind is such a powerful tool and in so many situations, underrated when it comes to the impact we have on how we behave.

In order for any kind of weight loss programme to be successful, it is important to look at the drivers behind the weight gain. These can be:

  • Feeling stressed/under pressure on a daily basis and responding to the body’s need for calories for fight or flight responses
  • Emotional eating to dull out a difficult feeling or experience
  • Disconnected to eating – having an unfounded ‘it doesn’t matter’ attitude and unaware of how much they are consuming
  • Afraid to make changes
  • Hormonal imbalance from a specific traumatic emotional event
  • Seeking joy excessively through food to the detriment of other joy-bringing areas of your life
  • Having a belief that you would be overweight because of stress, childbirth or your age.

As a Mind Detox Therapist, I know that all behaviour right down to the minutiae behaviour of the cells is directed by the mind. This means every thought you have controls your body and these thoughts range from the foods its tells you you want to eat, to the way calories are used and stored in your body.

But who would want to think a thought that is opposite to the one that takes you closer to your goal? No-one would! However, most of your thoughts take place in the unconscious mind, which means unless you go looking for them you won’t be aware of them. It is these thoughts that have the most control over how your body behaves, and most of these thoughts (which repeat themselves like a tape recorder daily) were created in the first 12 years of your life and have be dictating your behaviour ever since.

What this means is, whilst you can ‘think’ yourself slim – if you have a far more compelling mental programme in the unconscious mind that wants you to be fat – despite your best efforts, your weight loss will never be successful.

There’s all sorts of reasons why your unconscious mind may want your body to retain fat – and almost all of them will have some kind of emotional charge to them. Here’s some common examples:

  • To shut out the outside world
  • To fulfil a belief you are unattractive/unlovable/not good enough
  • Stored anger
  • Stored vulnerability and not wanting to express it
  • Seeking love in food/calories
  • A feeling of disempowerment and helplessness

Then there are the secondary reasons such as:

  • Impaired digestive function due to emotional trauma
  • Water retention due to emotional trauma
  • Impaired hormone levels due to emotional trauma
  • Self-hatred and wanting to punish yourself

bullying_article_detailBy emotional trauma, it doesn’t have to be a big event that causes a thought pattern that tells the body to lay down/retain fat. Emotional trauma can be something as simple as being bullied at school, a fight with a sibling over an ice cream or loosing a favourite toy. However, when these experiences take place in the first 12 years of our life, they can feel like significant events at the time, especially if we don’t have the necessary coping mechanisms to return our stress levels to normal shortly after.

So by using something like the Mind Detox Method to find the often hidden Root Cause Reasons of why the body is storing more fat than it needs to or being drawn to high calorie food when our lifestyle doesn’t require it – we can overwrite the unhelpful thoughts in our unconscious mind with a balanced and healthy perspective, allowing the body to return to normal. Once we have done this, then we are able to go on our Juice Fast or cut out high calorie food far easier – because we are not fighting our body’s instinctive needs – and our weight loss is successful.

You body is never against you, it is always doing what it can to best help you survive. And all the above applies to other health conditions too such as psoriasis, asthma, ME, Irritable Bowl Syndrome (IBS), Panic Attacks and infertility.

So before you embark on a new course of action, ask yourself – do I have any emotional resistance to completing this? Is there anything I need to clear? And you will know whether you need to also consider an emotional detox too. Contact Becci for a free, no obligation 30 minute chat to see whether the Mind Detox Method could help you reach your goals in 2015.


 

bec_murph_200x280Becci Harvey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Master Reiki Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here.

Self-care ground rules for CFS/ME

I was doing some work with a client today and it seemed very clear that it was important I shared my work notes with them, so they might have something to think about and play with before we met again.

Mark is a 24 year old musician, who’s spent the last 6 years with varying degrees of Chronic Fatigue, food intolerance’s, stomach pains and general energy issues to the point where he’s had to give up living independently and move back in with his mum from time to time or he lost too much weight from not being able to look after himself.

Following looking at what exactly Mark wanted to get from life and his sessions with me, we set about finding the root cause stress of his body shutting down.

ME/CFS in my experience is a “can’t fight, can’t flight, play dead” reaction, when the body experiences more stress than it can handle. If left untreated this will build exponentially with each year the stress is not addressed, so that despite all your best efforts you never get well. This is what was happening to Mark.

Mark was easily able to recall an experience that had been very stressful for him and we set about clarify that stress. We then found the antidote learnings that would enable his to body to allow the memory to still be there, but the emotions previously associated with it to be gone and him feel more neutral now.

Key to the learning experience was that the stress was in the past, everyone and everything had moved forward now and there was no need to hold on to it any longer – it had served it’s purpose and was now free to leave.

The advice below compliments the session we had and the knowing that there is as much value in removing the stress as in making lifestyle changes that will support and the newfound state of freedom. Take from them what you find to be valuable.

1) I strongly suspect the final straw/crux of your ME is the event you shared today. There may be other small things, other topics we’ve talked about are definitely a contributing factor but you said yourself you had no idea what to do and you were in shock – this is the body shutting down to lessen the pain of death I spoke to you about. Today we were able to tell your body that experience is over and all is well. This will remove a huge volume of stress.

2) You may have some interesting conversations with people as a result of today – go with it!

3) You naturally care and are compassionate to others. This is a wonderful attribute to have. In order for you to make it work for you we must first teach you how to direct that inward so you may heal yourself before you share your surplus with others. Always always you first, which ensures there will be more than enough for everyone else.

4) It is not selfish to look after yourself but indeed a necessity and your responsibility. Get to know yourself very very well. Find out what you like and what you don’t like. Do more of what you like, the rest of the world will take care of itself.

5) Choose your company wisely. As a sensitive, caring person some people will lift you up, others will pull you down. Be prepared for the relationships in your life to change. Trust you will always draw in what you need including the life lessons of who needs to go! Sensitive people have to master this art more than most, so quit comparing yourself to others and work out what works for you. The new you will draw in new people to support you.

6) Body checking isn’t bad – what you are checking for and what you do with that information can be. Checking in with your body on whether someone or something is a good or bad idea is great – symptom searching is not! Remember your thinking comes first and your symptoms arise from that. There can be a time delay, so a thought at 11am could produce symptoms at 12, 3pm or the next day. Let go of any correlation and instead choose for your highest desire – contentment. You don’t have to wait until the circumstances are perfect to feel it, you can choose and work towards it now. So when/if you find yourself body checking ask yourself what would make me content right now? Go with the answer and you’ll be living your life in the same way music comes to you.

7) Finally, give yourself plenty of time. Time to just ‘be’ is hugely under-utilised in modern living which seems determined to destroy us! Aim to spend as much time ‘being’ as you do, ‘doing’ – this is the meaning of balance. Decide what being is to you (it could be appreciating nature, people watching, meditating or doing healing) and make it part of your schedule.

Learn these critical skills now and you will have a strong foundation for any future ventures whether its mega pop star, homeless bum or a parent.


 

bec_murph_200x280Becci Harvey is a Mind Detox practitioner, Master Reiki Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfill their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here.

Emotional Freedom

I’m a firm believer in balance. My experience is the Universe never leaves out what you need, nor allows you to ignore your areas of growth. By allowing yourself to experience both sides of the equation in all your doings you allow your body to rest and be at neutral.

This means even the most difficult of experiences have their equal and opposing benefits.

It is ok to feel sad as it is ok to feel happy. It is ok to be confused and it I ok to be crystal clear – neither one is right or wrong.

Allowing yourself to feel and experience the complete gamut of emotions and experiences is what makes us human beings. This is not about being governed and ruled by our emotions but aware of them and holding a space in which they are able to come up out of the body to be freed.

As many of my clients say they want freedom, I know that for some that will be the knowing it is ok to experience all emotions. I can think of no greater gift than the gift to yourself of emotional freedom and support all those that create a safe space for themselves so that that is ok.