I am worthy…

I was working on my own personal development and learning yesterday after my outer experience of life wasn’t matching my inner experience. 

I came to realise that I was looking to others to value, respect and honour me as much as I do myself.

The truth is, when you are so full of your own self-worth, it doesn’t matter whether those around you know it too.

For example, when you know you are inherently deserving of love (and we all are), it doesn’t matter if others aren’t being loving towards you, because you know you are ‘worthy of love’. (They are only being unmoving because they’ve forgotten they are worthy of love.)

This statement lets everyone off the hook. It lets you off the hook because you don’t have to change in anyway to experience love, and it let’s other people off the hook because it was never their job to love you in the first place, it was only ever yours. 

Knowing this means you don’t measure your loveability by the words, deeds or actions of others. 

You can be treated pretty appallingly by others and you are still worthy of love. You might not get love, but you are still worthy of it.

You can mess up big time and still be worthy of love.

You can be having a rubbish day and turn it around by remembering, no matter what, you are worthy of love, and let that reset your experience.

This statement is true for many areas of life; respect, honesty, acceptance, attention,  support, protection, equality all of those can go after ‘I am worthy of…’ It doesn’t matter whether you get any of those things from the world around you, so long as YOU know you are worthy of them.

There is nothing more upsetting and jarring to our soul than the loss of our own self-worth, so make a commitment now to know your own worth – you may find it helps you create a more balanced life for your Self. 

Love life

One simple trick to change our experience of life is to love whatever shows up in our life, as if we asked for it.

By ‘Life’ I mean two things:

Our living existence – what it is like to be alive to breathe, to feel, to be)

AND the content of our life – our relationships (or lack of), our jobs, our financial situation (or lack of), domestic arrangements, our family situation and/or our health.

The first step in loving life is to find out what experiencing love is like for you. For some it will be sounds, words, a physical sensation, a state of being – everyone experiences it differently. For me, love is a feeling, a sensation I get in and around my body. Whatever it is, pause for a moment and get familiar with it now.

You don’t need an outside stimulus to experience love just an intention to, and it only works if you are willing to experience whatever shows up. It doesn’t work if you have a fixed idea of what love is. By this I mean a fixed idea of how love should feel, look, sound, and a fixed idea of what must happen first before love can be experienced.

For me, such a learning was a revelation! I thought I had to do things to get love. I thought I had to win awards, or I just got love if I was the flavour of the month.

It was only when I was an adult I explored the idea of ‘What is love?’ that I re-explored my understanding of it. I came to realise it was this experience that had been there all along and with me the whole time. Prior to that, I thought this experience wasn’t epic enough and clearly uncool, and I had to look outside of me, because that’s what all the advertising said. I kid you not. I was completely taken in by the idea love couldn’t be found inside of me, I had to buy a certain product or behave a certain way to get love.

Wow. What a load of baloney!!!

So, I was forced to try a different approach because my life was so messed up and miserable. So instead I tried the totally ‘uncool’ thing of exploring love and here’s what I found:

– I’d had a lot of conditioning that had told me over and over love was outside of me
– I didn’t know very well what love was!
– No-one can explain it to you, you just have to go for it and go on that journey yourself
– Going on that journey requires courage
– Life is different after
– You behave different after
– It gets easier to choose love and let go of your conditioning
– For really entrenched conditioning I needed help from another to let it go
– Choosing love gets you some pretty cool outcomes!
– Your health improves
– Your relationships improve
– Your career improves
– Life flows more
– A lot of divine timing starts to happen saving you time, unnecessary energy expenditure and money – woo hoo!!
– You connect with people on a very deep and delicious level – nothing beats it
– You find more things you’re not totally loving about yet and add them to the list to intend to be more loving about
– You experience this most incredible oneness and happiness. Sometimes I do literally just burst with joy!

So, I hope you’re taken in by this and up for making it your reality too!

You can build it up slowly. The love thing can only ever be done now, so experience love everytime you remember.

Don’t force it. It you’re forcing it, you’re thinking about it, the love thing is an EXPERIENCE not a thought.

Experience love.

Then experience love throughout your day, even when you think ‘this sucks’. Extra especially do it when you are thinking ‘this sucks’.

It is simply the most powerful and life transforming experience I have ever had.

As always, if you are having ‘I can’t do this’, ‘this is stupid’, ‘that won’t work with…’ then get in touch – because they are just thoughts and you don’t have to listen to them. You can have a love experience beyond your thinking. I know, because I have done it.

Visit us at: www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk.


BH 1 medium (2)Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerReiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

A way to drop ego and be

I was at a course last weekend, and as part of the content, we covered the “I am” model.

I love this simple, yet extremely powerful model of the human psyche.

The “I am” or “Ego Model” – adapted from Insight Leadership, portrays a way of understanding human behaviour and how to use awareness to shift from a dysfunctional behaviour to a more authentic and aligned one. It’s also a great way to overcome challenges, as often our challenges come from “ego”.

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The “I am” model quite simply shares that at birth we were perfect. Everything we did was perfect from feeding to pooping, and thus we lived in complete harmony and blissful flow. We just were. No changes required.

Then an event came along that turned our world upside down, and we started to question our perfectness. Maybe a teacher called us stupid, or a kid at school called us frigid or a friend wouldn’t speak to us one day. In that moment we became afraid that we’re not perfect. We feared we were stupid, frigid or bad company.

So, to cover up our fear (which is a form of vulnerability and that’s bad right?), we pretend. We pretend we are clever, we pretend that we’re promiscuous actually, we pretend that we are the life and soul of the party.

Know that feeling? Seen it in others?

When you think about it, it’s pretty common, isn’t it?

So here we are, running a mutli-million pound business, sleeping our way around the city or throwing lavish parties where we encourage people to hang on our every word, and we’re both unhappy (because we’re actually not truly experiencing any of those things) and exhausted (from keeping up the pretense).

In that diagram, the “I fear I am” and the “I pretend I am” are what’s also known as ego. You can usually spot someone with a big ego a mile away, as they’re the ones trying so hard to impress, fit in, be liked or sometimes be feared.

An opportunity to be different

But this is where it gets really cool. If we find ourselves being a bit needy, or a bit fake in our dealings with people, we can look at this model and ask ourselves – what is it I am afraid I am?

The knowledge from that question can help us be more compassionate about our egotistical behaviour, know where it comes from and reverse it with a few affirmations.

For example:

I fear I am stupid could become

* I am good at many things like listening, being attentive and making people feel heard.

I fear I am frigid could become

* I am kind and make friends easily. I have a healthy relationship with my libido and the libido of others.

I fear I am bad company could become

* I am enjoyable to be with and bring much light and laughter to a conversation.

(* basically pick attributes that are authentic to you.)

Can you see how the affirmations would reverse your fears? And because the affirmations take you back to the “I am” place, you’ll return to being free, harmonious, carefree and joyful. The extra bonus is, people will find you much easier to get along with, so you’ll get better feedback and joy there too.

So next time you find yourself reaching for a compliment, needing a person to act a certain way to make you feel OK or want something to be different to the way it is, ask yourself, what is it I fear I am? Work through the process till you know the truth – your essence, the part of you that makes you you, is perfect just the way it is, and doesn’t need to change for anybody.

Bullying, you can recover

Bullying – using superior strength, to intimidate or force someone into doing something.

Bullying isn’t just a childhood issue; wives can bully husbands, husbands can bully wives, kids can bully parents, bosses can bully staff and staff can bully bosses.

Bullying is a very real issue, and if left unaddressed can have a lasting and deleterious impact.

You are being bullied if:

– People make repeated and intentionally mean comments about you to your face or behind your back

– You experience physical violence

– You are excluded from a group on purpose

– You feel like you are being controlled and your needs don’t matter

-Someone is intentionally damaging or stealing your belongings

-You are afraid to go to a club, school or work because of the way you are treated there

– People are sharing compromising images of you or sharing rumours or information that is untrue

– People are behaving in such a way that you are scared to speak up and be yourself, in particular share your feelings and state your needs.

If you are or have been bullied, it is important you know, it is not your fault.
Most people have experienced some form of bullying at some point in their life. Not everyone is aware they have or are being bullied, especially if they grew up in an culture of it. The true test is am I and the other person/people equal? If the answer is no, you may be being bullied.

The long term effects of bullying can be symptoms of depression, anxiety and low self esteem – so it is important to take it seriously.

If you are experiencing bullying or have experienced bullying and it is still a problem for you, it is important to take action now to limit the damage and reclaim your power.

For bullying that is happening now CHILDLINE  (0800 1111) and THE NATIONAL BULLYING HELPLINE (0845 22 55787 or 07734 701221 for adults and children) offer a listening ear and advice on all forms of bullying.

If the bullying is historic, and stopping you from moving forwards, the meditation and Mind Detox will help.

Mind Detox helps you to heal and let go of the past, so it no longer troubles you and you can reclaim your power. Meditation brings your awareness back to the present moment where all healing happens, helping you to release old, difficult emotions and find a permanent inner calm.

If you would like to release a difficult experience or would simply like to reclaim your power in the present moment, then contact Becci on 01892 853518 or get in touch below to find out if Mind Detox and/or meditation would be right for you.

Sessions are available in person, or from anywhere in the world via Skype.


BH 1 medium (2)Becci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerReiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

How to deal with overwhelm 

One of the most frightening things to cope with in life, is the experience of overwhelm.

magneto-therapy1-1024x682.jpgOverwhelm is when you experience significantly more stress than you feel you have resources, and may be as mild as work pressure and as huge as a full nervous breakdown – and anywhere in between.

When we are in a state of overwhelm, we feel like our issues are completely in our face, we’re unable to turn away from them and there is no escape.

The good news is, you don’t have to experience debilitating long-term  overwhelm, and with a bit of guidance, help and support you can shift your life experiences from overwhelm to effortless ease.

I know, because much to my own surprise, I did it.

Meltdown

I remember one time collapsing on the kitchen floor unable to move because I so badly didn’t want to go to work that day. It wasn’t that I didn’t like my job, I loved my job, but it’d changed from the one I signed up to and the company was putting itself under vast amounts of pressure to bring in money, and that was something I wasn’t particularly good at.

It took me what felt like hours of disrespectful disobedience simply be-ing on the floor there acknowledging my truth (as much as I could) before I could get up and persuade myself to show up for duty. Did my work care? No, not really. Did they make a big deal of it, no – I never shared and they were none the wiser. Would I do things differently now? Yes I would. Did I ultimately listen to myself and leave that job? Yes I did, after a period of time away I could see it wasn’t right for me at a soul level. But in the moment I was on the floor I was in complete overwhelm and it was all I could do to be on the floor and do nothing else.

What causes overwhelm? 

Overwhelm is caused by two fundamental things.

  1. Forgetting we are bigger than our problems
  2. Feeling our thinking/being attached to our thoughts

The difference between someone that hears a piece of data and panics and another person that hears the same piece of data and either stays calm or springs into inspired action comes a lot from perspective.

 

“Our world is an outer projection of our inner thoughts and beliefs. The good news is, with awareness, those inner thoughts and beliefs can change. To do this, we must let go of having a fixed idea. So let go of attachment to what we want, and stop resisting the experiences we don’t want.”

A person that is able to rationalise a piece of data by being very secure in their inner strength and unattached to achieving a particular outcome or needing to resist a particular outcome, is able to roll with the punches of life and remain detached from their impact. They will still experience the event, but they won’t take it on inwardly and make it all about them. Instead, they are able to realise the event is going on outside of them, but who they are, their true essence remains unchanged.

To do this, we must be aware of our true nature.

Our true nature, is the part of us that is eternal.

Our true nature, is the part of us that is eternal. It is the consciousness that is aware of our thoughts, feelings, emotions and bodily sensations. It precedes are thoughts and existed before it inhabited your current physical form. Our true nature (not to be confused with personality) is a large, infinite awareness that is capable of manifesting new experiences and being peaceful with the ones we have. It is never broken, hurt, disconnected or ill; it is always complete, whole, joyous, abundant and peaceful.

Yet why, when we have such a powerful and capable energy at our source, do we experience overwhelm? Because we without realising the consequences, at some point somewhere down the line, we turned away from who we are and started to believe we were something else.

We started to believe we were:

  • Our body
  • Our thoughts
  • Our feelings
  • Our family status
  • Our job title
  • What other people said we were
  • What society said we were
  • Our ego (a mental construct of who we wanted to be)
  • Out own worst nightmare

In doing so, we made ourselves very very small.

We forgot that we were something far bigger – that is divine energy that has the ability to be conscious and has the ability to co-create, that resides within a body.

From this perspective, can you see how difficult overwhelm would be? We’d have to let go of all that, and shrink ourselves down to the idea we are a poor defenceless human to experience overwhelm. Reconnect with the knowing you’re a powerful source bigger than all of creation and you contain all the resources necessary to either cope or bring about change, you remain unphased by life.

Feeling our thinking/being attached to our thoughts 

The other part of the equation is being able to appreciate that our physical body has thoughts, which is a healthy thing, but we don’t need to engage with them. What do I mean by this? I mean we permit those experiences to flow through our body, but we don’t need to stop and analyse them, change them or resist them.

Research says that we have around 100,000 thoughts a day. Most of these thoughts are the same as the day before and most of which are in our unconscious mind, which means they happen without us being aware of them.

thoughts-of-thoughts

When we are feeling our thinking, it’s because we grabbed hold of one of those thoughts and are feeding it with our attention. We might be repeating it over and over in our mind, having a running commentary about the thought, trying to push the thought away, worrying about the consequences of the thought, imagining the outcome if the thought did or didn’t come true, trying to find the origin of the thought, trying to find an antidote to the thought, I could go on! A lot of additional thinking (and body biochemistry) can come as a result of not knowing how to handle the experience of having thoughts.

So what instead?

Great question! If grabbing onto thoughts and forgetting how big and powerful your true nature is isn’t good for you, what do you do instead? The answer is, get back in touch with that permanent part of you.

There are many ways to do this. Yoga, an art class that encourages creative freedom, your religion (if it focuses on the spiritual side), exercise, time in nature, animals, being around enlightened people and meditation.

For me it felt strange at first, as if was disobeing orders; but over time I got more familiar with it. I’m still on a journey with it! But for a long time now, I have been able to put a large amount of distance between what is going on in my life and who I am. This frees me up to act from inspiration and wisdom. It allows me to be impartial about challenges and stay neutral, not making it about ‘me’ and instead be immersed in the is-ness of it all.

breakthroughAnd do I still experience overwhelm, yes I do a little bit when I’m traversing new territory. This might be taking on a new project, dealing with a challenging family situation or needing to be there to support another. I’m not adverse to the idea that a Breakdown is actually a Breakthrough, as I address difficult situations head on and find a new way to respond to them. Either way, whether it is a Breakthrough or overwhelm my response to it is very different these days because I:

  1. Stop the cause of the overwhelm by addressing the issue (rather than hoping it goes away)
  2. Remember my true and infinite nature and remember I am bigger than my problems
  3. Remind myself to be in my present physical environment and not energetically elsewhere
  4. Choose to be OK with whatever happens rather than be attached or resistant to outcomes (no matter how hard it appears to be as not doing so is harder)
  5. Ask for help. I ask people to steady and guide me when I’m a bit wobbly or remind me of what I have forgotten
  6. Do what it takes to support myself. Take time off, spend extra time in nature or meditating. Basically put my-Self first
  7. Congratulate myself on my efforts and acknowledge my commitment to being peaceful.

Be proactive

My number one top tip though for dealing with overwhelm is to have a proactive approach to knowing my infinite true nature. This means engaging in practices such as Reiki and meditation to develop that awareness so that I spend more and more time operating from there. It means making a commitment to a daily practice, making it more important than anything else and seeking a similar tribe of people that know and appreciate the journey I choose to be on.

To this end, I run 2-3 mediation groups a week and teach Reiki to students from all over the UK. In my sessions and training, I give you first hand opportunity to experience your true nature, so that you may operate from that infinite place and grow your connection to it outside of the session. You are given the chance to ask questions and explore for yourself what coming from your true nature is like, as I guide and support you through the experience.

Together we reaffirm our commitment to being peaceful and to let go of anything that doesn’t serve. We focus on a proactive approach that gives us the tools to manage and be OK with modern life, and we meet new people that understand our journey and know what it is like to let go of one survival approach to start another.

Don’t just take my word for it though, come along and try it!

You can find out more about my Meditation groups here.

And about Reiki and learning Reiki here.


20150522 Barbara Yeo Photography Becci Harvey-14 lrBecci Godfrey is a Mind Detox practitioner and trainerReiki Master and Teacher and Equine Assisted Learning Facilitator. From her base in Mark Cross, East Sussex she helps hundreds of people locally and all over the world overcome their life, emotional and health challenges to fulfil their potential.

To find out more, or find out what up and coming courses are available you can visit Becci’s professional profile here or follow Mind Detox Tunbridge Wells on Facebook.

Why horses are part of our programmes

​Why do we bring horses into our health programmes? Because horses provide a vital opportunity to overcome our blocks to moving forwards. 

Once we’ve worked with out clients to address the underlying beliefs and environment that created their dis-ease, we also need to address what keeps them stuck, how they want to move forwards and what their idea of success looks like.

The horses are very good at picking up the more subtle reasons why we stay stuck, offer a safe and non-judgemental space to expand their skillset in and encourage and reward people to address their issues.

Though it may sound intimidating to look at our deepest fears, due to the very safe environment we create, it isn’t. Together, the horses and I encourage you to be honest with they way you are feeling and support you where necessary to be ok with that. 

Clients build confidence through small comfort zone stretches

Through building up a relationship with the horses and stretching our comfort zone bit by bit, we can learn to be ok with experiences such as fear and uncertainty and manage ourselves so we don’t ask too much, yet give ourselves and opportunity to exceed expectations and flourish.

Often those that have been sick for a long time have lost confidence in themselves and find it easy to revert back to old patterns when things get tough. The horses and I encourage them to try out a new approach based on courage, trust, faith, advocacy and self-belief. Invariably they succeed and set a new benchmark of what they are capable of. 

This then manifests into their day to day life, showing up as a greater willingness to try new things, improved self-awareness and self-management, and setting realistic goals and outcomes. This results in better energy management, clearer communication with others and higher probabilities of success.

In addition, the horses give individuals feedback through their behaviour. The horses might plant their feet and encourage the participany to slow down and be patient or be restless to encourage them to get going and stop being so cautious!  Through their ability to assess the needs of each participant and what is required to bring them back to balance, my experience is the horses are able to give accurate insight into what qualities are required to bring about inner harmony.

There is much much more that the horses do, in a such a short space of time, but this is enough of an insight at present. 

Eye on the prize. Clients determine what success would look like and take the journey with their equine partner

And what of today’s client? Well she learnt that if she experiences fear she doesn’t have to be held back by it, that her priorities now are being loving and kind to herself and “Be me”. Her chosen pony walked effortlessly along her journey with her, quietly, supportively and quite content demonstrating both that it can be done, and she already has all the resources she needs to make it happen. 

And that is why we work with the horses, because we couldn’t have got that outcome, any other way.

If you’d like to know more about our therapy and learning programmes with horses, visit www.HorseSenseUK.com.

Where does creation come from?

Where does creation come from? It comes from silence.

From still, silent, space a new idea, emotion or expression is formed.

Love comes from silence, direction comes from silence, be-ing comes from silence.

Because when we are silent, we can hear.

Hear our heart’s greatest desire, hear our intuition (inner-tuition), hear our soul purpose.

And from stillness, we are free to act on that.

When we are ‘busy’ we cannot hear.

We must be still, we must be silent, we must create a space for life to manifest in.

silence