Anxiety and depression in the news

It is with much sadness that the UK has woken up to the news this morning that the actor Robin Williams has passed away following a suspected suicide.

I have long known that Robin Williams had suffered from depression and had self medicated with alcohol, though I was unaware he was still suffering.

As is so often the case, someone that brought so much joy and laughter to others, was unable to bring it to themselves.

Depression and anxiety are the consequences of believing something that factually isn’t true and therefore sits badly with our body. This could be something like, ‘I will never be successful’, ‘the world is not a safe place’ or ‘I cause more harm than good’.

If I had to guess what Robin Williams believed from his mannerisms and facial expressions it would be that there was something wrong with him that meant he was unloveable, a pattern most probably laid down in childhood.

When our bodies respond to us with feelings of lethargy, darkness, fear and anxiety it is telling us that our thinking is unbalanced and we must pay attention and perhaps make some changes.

Short periods of depression and anxiety are healthy and normal, and remind us we are a human that is capable of a full spectrum of emotions. For these periods, I recommend time with friends and meditation, where you can learn to witness your thoughts and feelings with a compassionate and detached perspective and in doing so allow them to move through you and leave.

For long periods of depression and anxiety, I recommend a Mind Detox to look at the underlying emotion and belief as to why depression and/or anxiety is showing up in your life. It may be that there is just one, or that there are a number of reasons, each adding to the intensity of the feelings you experience.

Many of our beliefs are created when we are very young or adopted from the adults around us. This can result in us not questioning our thoughts and beliefs, or feeling like we are a fraud because there is no obvious outer cause for feeling the way you do.

In Robin’s case, I suspect there was also a large amount of keeping an outward facing facade of joy and happiness, when inside it was a very different story. This too adds to our burden and creates uncomfortable conflict within us.

Working with a skilled 127135atherapist will first of all allow you to open up to the way you are feeling without being judged or needing to be ‘fixed’. In time, with your permission they will allow you to see where your thinking has become unbalanced and help you to set that straight.

Taking time to tackle the things that negatively impact you pays dividends in the long run. Not only will this improve your life, but it will improve the lives of the people around you as well as improve your mental and emotional resilience and your chances of staying physically and mentally healthy.

Some may find they can overcome their challenges quite quickly, whilst others may take a little more time to restore balance.

We each have our own journey to take, and instead of seeing depression and anxiety as a problem that needs to be ‘cured’, it is perhaps helpful to see it as a gift of growth and learning that will take you to wonderful places you wouldn’t have otherwise experienced.
If you, or someone you know is suffering from anxiety and/or depression I offer a free 30 minute no-obligation phone chat to find out whether Meditation or Mind Detox would be right for you. You can find out more on my Mind Detox website: www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk with Skype and telephone consultations are also available.

Beyond conflict is love

It is impossible to escape the conflict that is being published around the world right now. Ukraine, Palestine, Benghazi, Libya – the news is full of tales of fighting, death and distraught and grieving people.
What could fuel such destructive behaviour, and are we immune from this in the UK?

When I hear about conflict around the world like this, especially when there seems to be so much of it, it reminds me of my responsibility and the part that I play.

israeli-palestinian-conflict

Each of us is responsible for our own behaviour, but also for the behaviour that we allow to happen around us. If I am caught in the middle of conflict, I have the capacity to choose how I respond and what I create from this moment forwards.

It is my experience that few people appreciate how powerful and influential they are, instead choosing to play small and denounce their powers. Any powerful leader will know that they can enthuse and inspire their followers, just as any mother knows that she can be a calming and soothing influence to her distraught child.

We have the power to shape the way our world is created – in fact it is the cornerstone our existence is built on. If you want more health, affluence, connectedness, purpose you have the capacity to create those things. It your job, and your job alone to create the life you wish to live, in alignment with your values and desires.

Similarly, if you are experiencing conflict in your world, there are steps you can take to create a different outcome. You have the capacity to change the recipe that created the conflict. Like for example changing sugar for salt, cream of chilli powder or vegetables for fruit in a food recipe. These changes will produce different outcomes, just as different behaviours by the people involved produce different outcomes.

It requires much courage and faith to make those changes and I always have a lot of respect for those that do. Finding the right mentors, role models, coaches, teachers, support network and cheerleaders is essential in helping you let go of old behaviours and take on new more supportive ones. It is like letting go of the side of the pool for the first time and swimming – you don’t know whether it will work till you do it. Till you do it, you will never grow.

So the task that lies ahead for these conflict-torn places is to find a new way of being and to find a new way to behave. These areas must want peace more than anything else.

Our job here in the UK is to be the coaches, role models, mentors, cheerleaders, the support network – the people that call these conflict areas to a higher standard. We must share what we have learnt about respect and compassion for one another being more important than being right or having material wealth or power. We must role model how we must love and accept the values and needs of others – that we are in this together and our success and survival depends on us working together rather than tearing one another apart.

I understand that in each of this areas of conflict there is a misguided attempt to love, be it a love of their own people, a love of money or a love of security. Most people, when pushed, believe their actions to be taking them closer to love. Our job is to help them take that step closer to love in a healthy and balanced way.

For me, the more we let go of the mind and rest in being, the more health, balance and prosperity we will experience.

The nature of the mind is to be that little voice in our head that tells us we’re not good enough, we are at risk, we must earn more, we must more powerful, we must, we must, we must – the mind can be endless with its chatter and its demands.

However, the voice of your mind is not who you are.

Yes, we have a mind, but that voice in our head is not ‘us’.

Beyond the mind, we exist as pure potential. Beyond that incessant chatter is being and consciousness. Here, everything is good enough just as it is, you are safe, you are abundant and powerful. Here you act from pure love. You are caring and compassionate towards others, you see yourself and others connected as one and you understand your actions are like a ripple in the ocean.

The potential to explore this space exists for all of us. Practices such as meditation, Reiki, enjoying a beautiful sunset and soaking up the joy and innocence of children gives us a glimpse into this world, that with practice can become our daily experience.

We have a choice how we behave and the change we seek starts with us.

I send much love, hope and courage to those areas that are experiencing conflict. I wish to share with them the peace, joy and quiet that is in my heart. I hope I act as a good role model and I hope in time they will choose it for themselves too.

True wealth

WP 20140603 15 17 16 Pro 1 I took some time out recently to go and sit atop the beautiful sandstone rocks at Eridge, because my intuition gave me the hit to do so.

Sitting on this cliff of sandstone, surrounded by trees, birdsong and the strong whiff of this most beautiful tree in blossom I was overcome with a sense of immense relief. Why? Because in 2009 I gave up working full time to pursue my dream of a better quality of life where mydreams and passions were honoured, not someone elses, and here I was five years later still doing just that.

I’ll admit, I’d actually gone to get away from the office to think more clearly about how I could connect to more clients, but instead found myself realising I was exactly where I needed to be, that everything was on track and I was doing exactly what I wanted to do at this point in time.

The analogy of “getting away from it all”, was perfect. Apart from a couple of dog walkers I was completely alone, and as an emotional empath I need to be alone to connect in to me. I, like so many people, find it so easy to put everyone else first and get caught up in everyone elses thinking. My head will go something like this… I should be this, I should do that, I should blah blah blah. Like the traffic that was whizzing down the nearby A26, it can be endless!!

So here I am on the top of these rocks and in this subliminal moment, I realised that having time to slow down, be at peace, be at one with nature to recharge the batteries is exactly what I wanted. It is my definition of being wealthy. This is not a financial wealth, but a wealth of being free and being able to honour my intuition.

WP 20140603 16 02 38 Pro

Take time to smell the elderflowers…

What worked so well, was I had listened to myself. I had got the hit this was something I needed to do and I had acted on it. I didn’t know why, I didn’t know what outcome it would give, I just went in good faith this was important and subsequently discovered it was.

I took a moment to think what a contrast a life locked up in our minds is like. As I was listening to the traffic whizzing down the road I wondered how much of life were they experiencing, or like the scenery around them, how much was passing them by? Those individuals may earn a lot more than I do or get a lot further up the material possessions scale, but if that was me behaving that way what cost would that be to me and what would be the quality of my experience?

I didn’t need to answer, I knew I was far more wealthy as I was…

Wishing you a joyous June and many moments of wealthy peace for yourself.

Becci

xx

Why get a coach?

To round off International Coaching Week, I thought I would write a little blog piece about why you would get a coach.

Coaches have been pivotal in my life, from my early years as a gymnast and a swimmer, through to my later years as an entrepreneur and running my own businesses, coaches have been there with me every step of the way.

But why bother with one?

My sister once described it to me like this. When I was younger I had a coached that taught me how swim faster, be more effective in the water and how to prepare for races so I would get the best result and it works, so why not do that for life?

She was absolutely right.

My first experience of life coaching was in 2008. In 2007 I quit my dream career job after the charity changed direction, so I was at a bit of a loss. On strong recommendation I attended a seminar that was all about getting clarity on what it was I wanted to do in life. In that seminar they explained the value of a coach and I was able to meet lots of people that had got very positive results from following a 12 month programme. I figured if I didn’t try it, I’d never know, so I signed up for a 3 month programme to achieve a set goal. I enjoyed the experience very much, and despite getting quite a different positive outcome to the one I was hoping for, I had found a constructive form of personal development that I saw had immense value.

ImageIn particular, a coach is very useful for when you have maximised the results that you can achieve on your own, and you need some external input to take yourself, your business, your health or your relationships to the next level. They hold you accountable to your goals and guide and support you along the way.

A great coach will be able to assess your weaknesses and strengths, see where you need information, encouragement, support, someone to celebrate with, connecting to new resources or to let go of old thinking patterns. That coach will then work with you to bring about your common goal – whatever you define that success to be.

Impartial perspective

Anyone that has ever had coaching will tell you that critical to their success was some form of structured and impartial support. Coaches share your vision of success but don’t buy into any of the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck. Through a range of approaches and techniques a coach will help you moved beyond your limitations to achieve things often you thought would be impossible. It may be that they coach you to listen to your dreams more, it might be that they coach you to assert your influence more, it might be that they coach you in some relaxation techniques so you can perform better – all the while empowering you as the individual and leaving you with a map, a new toolkit and a greater sense of confidence on what you are about to achieve.

Mind Detox

My role as a Mind Detox Therapist is to help you get clear on what you would like to let go of and what you would like to gain. Together we create a clear picture of what success would look like to you, which is a powerful way of communicating to the Unconscious Brain what you would like more of. Then, through the very clever Mind Detox Method we are able to look for the root cause reason of the problems in your life that stand in the way of you experiencing what you want.

Often we will find their is a key pivotal memory that holds us back and requires to be healed before we can achieve our dreams. This may be something small like a fight with a sibling, or something bigger like the death of a parent or moving to a new area. We then bring our adult perspective to the experience, and from a place of love heal the trauma and embed a new, more health-full thought pattern that will overwrite the old pattern and become your new norm. It really is that simple!

ImageI have used this method for many different experiences such as challenges in the workplace, relationship issues, health conditions, mental health issues, infertility, vulnerability and even money for people in over 10 different countries. Each person has found a relevant and pivotal memory, healed it and left with less stress and a clearer head.

So if you want to reach a goal and you are currently stuck, I would highly recommend you invest in a coach. I all my years of meeting coaches from all kinds of backgrounds, I have yet to meet one that I didn’t like and that didn’t have their clients needs formost at heart. Many coaches are people just like myself that have had their own powerful coaching experiences and wish to make it available to others. There are lots of different forms of coaching and different personalities suit different people. In 2012 the International Coaching Federation estimated there was over 47,500 coaches worldwide, so there is bound to be one that can work with you.

Finally, there is one coach in your life that must not be underestimated or excluded, and that’s you. We all have within us our guru that knows what’s best for us and is there any time we need. Listen to your inner-tuition and there too you will find a whole host of guidance and support to help you reach your goals. And when you align your inner guru with a great coach, well, I just know you’re going achieve incredible things.

So here’s to your success!

 

From the International Coach Federation website:

Benefits of Using a Coach

Professional coaching brings many wonderful benefits: fresh perspectives on personal challenges, enhanced decision-making skills, greater interpersonal effectiveness, and increased confidence. And, the list does not end there. Those who undertake coaching also can expect appreciable improvement in productivity, satisfaction with life and work, and the attainment of relevant goals.

Increased Productivity

Professional coaching maximizes potential and, therefore, unlocks latent sources of productivity.

Increased Productivity graph

Positive People

Building the self-confidence of employees to face challenges is critical in meeting organizational demands.

Positive People graph

Return on Investment

Coaching generates learning and clarity for forward action with a commitment to measurable outcomes.The vast majority of companies (86%) say they at least made their investment back.

86 percent ROI graph

Satisfied Clients

Virtually all companies and individuals who hire a coach are satisfied.

Satisfied clients graph

More information on benefits of coaching can be found in the ICF Research Portal, including case studies and industry reports.

Source: ICF Global Coaching Client Study was commissioned by the ICF but conducted independently by PricewaterhouseCoopers.

http://www.coachfederation.org/need/landing.cfm?ItemNumber=747&navItemNumber=565

 

Ask Believe Receive

I am a big fan of The Secret and the positive content they share, so when I came across this, I wanted to share it with you.

Ask Believe ReceiveFrom my coaching and therapy work I know that in order to get to where you want you must have a clear goal, either in your mind, down on paper or in the form of images. This works even better if you share it with others, so they can also ask for you to have that experience.

Next your job is to allow the process to happen through aligning your thoughts, words and actions. This means removing any thought patterns either conscious and unconscious that prevent your chosen desires from manifesting (which Mind Detox is great at).

Finally, letting go of what you want and being patient enough to allow your desires to come into your life – more often than not they will. If they don’t, trust it is because it is not in your interest right now or that you still have something to learn. I am often awed by the greater design and how small inconveniences turn out to be huge blessings. There is a greater picture out there – I highly recommend you trust that all that comes to you is to support you in your growth and your journey.

I trust you find the reminder useful.

Best wishes,

Becci

June Cornish Detox Retreat

retreat_header_480x172

How would you like to get away from it all and boost your health at the same time?

My very good friend Hannah Howard and I offering you just that with a detox retreat in the heart of the beautiful Cornish countryside.

What?

Hannah and I have designed a 4 1/2 day, 5 night fully catered detox retreat packed full of things that will leave you feeling healthy and refreshed and ready to take on the world!

JuicesHannah is a naturopathic nutritionist and excellent chef. This means she recommends natural foods and supplements where necessary, to treat a range of health conditions such as depression, IBS, PMS, eczema, acne and allergies. Hannah will be in charge of what you put in your body and will be inspiring you with her cooking workshops and culinary ideas.

I – Becci, as Mind Detox Therapist, will be in charge of your mental and emotional wellbeing. That means getting clear on your goals in life and then helping you remove the mental and emotional blocks to you achieving those goals.

Mornings will yoga_cornwall__640x480__200x150be structured with meditations, yoga, walks, workshops and the chance to have a 1:1 nutrition consultation or Mind Detox. Afternoons are free for you to do your own thing and explore either the local tracks and trails, Cornish coastline, Bodmin Moor or sit down by the river and throwing sticks for Dillon, the resident black lab.

In the evenings we’ll all sit down for a lovely, healthy meal followed by board games, evening workshops, films and quiet time to read or journal – the emphasis being on listening to your body and giving you and it all the help, support and love that it needs.

Where?

The retreat will be at the wonderful Penrose Burden (the view is that image at the top of the page) in North Cornwall. Penrose Burden is perched on the edge of Bodmin Moor and draws its own mineral water from a borehole on the farm. A 10 minute stroll from the cottage is a babbling river, the Camel Trail is at the end of the lane and we are just 20 minutes from the North Coast and some of the most stunning landscape in the UK. I’ve been going there for 5 years now and I’ve fallen in love with the place. It’s where I go to rejuvenate and I know you are going to love it too.

Map

When?

The retreat will run from 4pm Sunday 8th June to 10am Friday 13th June.

Toad Hall room__200x130Accommodation will be in twin rooms, with double rooms available for couples and single occupancy available for an additional supplement. Spaces are limited to 8 people.

This retreat is perfect for anyone that wants to take time out to support their physical and emotional health and have fun whilst doing it.

Pricing

The cost of the retreat includes:

▪ 5 nights accommodation in 3* holiday cottage
▪ Three nutritious meals a day plus snacks
▪ 1 fruit/vegetable juice a day plus unlimited mineral water and herbal teas
▪ Daily meditations
▪ Fun and engaging nutrition workshops
▪ Nutrition consultation with Hannah (to include a pre-retreat questionnaire)
▪ Mind Detox consultation with Becci

Ensuite twin or double sharing: £425
Single occupancy: £495 

Places are on a first come first served basis and require a non-refundable £100 deposit to secure your space. Full payment is required 6 weeks before the retreat.

To book your space send an contact Becci or call 01892 853518 or 07833 597187.

Thank you

The mind is a wonderful and powerful thing. I had the pleasure of being the client this morning to go through the Mind Detox Method and I had a wonderful time letting go of issues, some as old as I am.

The process reminded me how a single thought pattern can produce so much anxiety and impact on our daily life without us realising.

As so often is the case, there was more than one reason for my anxiety (I was looking at the reason I am shortsighted) and with the help of a great therapist we were able to clear some enormous trauma’s. Before the session I used to be desperately claustrophobic due to an experience I had at birth. Today I found myself stepping outside and breathing the air like it was the first time I had ever breathed. It was like my entire life I had been anxious for each breath, and now that anxiety is finally gone – I now know I am ok and able to breath as I need.

What’s all this got to do with being short sighted? Well, something like shortsightedness is based on fear. I was afraid at birth I couldn’t breath and I would die and now that fear has gone. I also detoxed on the anxiety of a parent being in hospital and not there to look after me from separate time in my life.

It is such small and simple things that trip us up, yet when we are young they seem huge, and left unresolved they hold us back as adults in many ways.

thank-you1

I can’t wait to see the positive results these mental shifts will make. So I wanted to say thank you to Sandy for discovering and honing the Mind Detox Method and sharing it with us all, and thank you to Liz today for being that great therapist. If you would like to know more about the Mind Detox Method then visit www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk or purchase the book Heal the Hidden cause on Amazone here.