I took some time out recently to go and sit atop the beautiful sandstone rocks at Eridge, because my intuition gave me the hit to do so.
Sitting on this cliff of sandstone, surrounded by trees, birdsong and the strong whiff of this most beautiful tree in blossom I was overcome with a sense of immense relief. Why? Because in 2009 I gave up working full time to pursue my dream of a better quality of life where mydreams and passions were honoured, not someone elses, and here I was five years later still doing just that.
I’ll admit, I’d actually gone to get away from the office to think more clearly about how I could connect to more clients, but instead found myself realising I was exactly where I needed to be, that everything was on track and I was doing exactly what I wanted to do at this point in time.
The analogy of “getting away from it all”, was perfect. Apart from a couple of dog walkers I was completely alone, and as an emotional empath I need to be alone to connect in to me. I, like so many people, find it so easy to put everyone else first and get caught up in everyone elses thinking. My head will go something like this… I should be this, I should do that, I should blah blah blah. Like the traffic that was whizzing down the nearby A26, it can be endless!!
So here I am on the top of these rocks and in this subliminal moment, I realised that having time to slow down, be at peace, be at one with nature to recharge the batteries is exactly what I wanted. It is my definition of being wealthy. This is not a financial wealth, but a wealth of being free and being able to honour my intuition.
To round off International Coaching Week, I thought I would write a little blog piece about why you would get a coach.
Coaches have been pivotal in my life, from my early years as a gymnast and a swimmer, through to my later years as an entrepreneur and running my own businesses, coaches have been there with me every step of the way.
But why bother with one?
My sister once described it to me like this. When I was younger I had a coached that taught me how swim faster, be more effective in the water and how to prepare for races so I would get the best result and it works, so why not do that for life?
She was absolutely right.
My first experience of life coaching was in 2008. In 2007 I quit my dream career job after the charity changed direction, so I was at a bit of a loss. On strong recommendation I attended a seminar that was all about getting clarity on what it was I wanted to do in life. In that seminar they explained the value of a coach and I was able to meet lots of people that had got very positive results from following a 12 month programme. I figured if I didn’t try it, I’d never know, so I signed up for a 3 month programme to achieve a set goal. I enjoyed the experience very much, and despite getting quite a different positive outcome to the one I was hoping for, I had found a constructive form of personal development that I saw had immense value.
In particular, a coach is very useful for when you have maximised the results that you can achieve on your own, and you need some external input to take yourself, your business, your health or your relationships to the next level. They hold you accountable to your goals and guide and support you along the way.
A great coach will be able to assess your weaknesses and strengths, see where you need information, encouragement, support, someone to celebrate with, connecting to new resources or to let go of old thinking patterns. That coach will then work with you to bring about your common goal – whatever you define that success to be.
Anyone that has ever had coaching will tell you that critical to their success was some form of structured and impartial support. Coaches share your vision of success but don’t buy into any of the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck. Through a range of approaches and techniques a coach will help you moved beyond your limitations to achieve things often you thought would be impossible. It may be that they coach you to listen to your dreams more, it might be that they coach you to assert your influence more, it might be that they coach you in some relaxation techniques so you can perform better – all the while empowering you as the individual and leaving you with a map, a new toolkit and a greater sense of confidence on what you are about to achieve.
My role as a Mind Detox Therapist is to help you get clear on what you would like to let go of and what you would like to gain. Together we create a clear picture of what success would look like to you, which is a powerful way of communicating to the Unconscious Brain what you would like more of. Then, through the very clever Mind Detox Method we are able to look for the root cause reason of the problems in your life that stand in the way of you experiencing what you want.
Often we will find their is a key pivotal memory that holds us back and requires to be healed before we can achieve our dreams. This may be something small like a fight with a sibling, or something bigger like the death of a parent or moving to a new area. We then bring our adult perspective to the experience, and from a place of love heal the trauma and embed a new, more health-full thought pattern that will overwrite the old pattern and become your new norm. It really is that simple!
I have used this method for many different experiences such as challenges in the workplace, relationship issues, health conditions, mental health issues, infertility, vulnerability and even money for people in over 10 different countries. Each person has found a relevant and pivotal memory, healed it and left with less stress and a clearer head.
So if you want to reach a goal and you are currently stuck, I would highly recommend you invest in a coach. I all my years of meeting coaches from all kinds of backgrounds, I have yet to meet one that I didn’t like and that didn’t have their clients needs formost at heart. Many coaches are people just like myself that have had their own powerful coaching experiences and wish to make it available to others. There are lots of different forms of coaching and different personalities suit different people. In 2012 the International Coaching Federation estimated there was over 47,500 coaches worldwide, so there is bound to be one that can work with you.
Finally, there is one coach in your life that must not be underestimated or excluded, and that’s you. We all have within us our guru that knows what’s best for us and is there any time we need. Listen to your inner-tuition and there too you will find a whole host of guidance and support to help you reach your goals. And when you align your inner guru with a great coach, well, I just know you’re going achieve incredible things.
So here’s to your success!
From the International Coach Federation website:
Benefits of Using a Coach
Professional coaching brings many wonderful benefits: fresh perspectives on personal challenges, enhanced decision-making skills, greater interpersonal effectiveness, and increased confidence. And, the list does not end there. Those who undertake coaching also can expect appreciable improvement in productivity, satisfaction with life and work, and the attainment of relevant goals.
Professional coaching maximizes potential and, therefore, unlocks latent sources of productivity.
Building the self-confidence of employees to face challenges is critical in meeting organizational demands.
Return on Investment
Coaching generates learning and clarity for forward action with a commitment to measurable outcomes.The vast majority of companies (86%) say they at least made their investment back.
Virtually all companies and individuals who hire a coach are satisfied.
More information on benefits of coaching can be found in the ICF Research Portal, including case studies and industry reports.
Source: ICF Global Coaching Client Study was commissioned by the ICF but conducted independently by PricewaterhouseCoopers.
I am a big fan of The Secret and the positive content they share, so when I came across this, I wanted to share it with you.
From my coaching and therapy work I know that in order to get to where you want you must have a clear goal, either in your mind, down on paper or in the form of images. This works even better if you share it with others, so they can also ask for you to have that experience.
Next your job is to allow the process to happen through aligning your thoughts, words and actions. This means removing any thought patterns either conscious and unconscious that prevent your chosen desires from manifesting (which Mind Detox is great at).
Finally, letting go of what you want and being patient enough to allow your desires to come into your life – more often than not they will. If they don’t, trust it is because it is not in your interest right now or that you still have something to learn. I am often awed by the greater design and how small inconveniences turn out to be huge blessings. There is a greater picture out there – I highly recommend you trust that all that comes to you is to support you in your growth and your journey.
I trust you find the reminder useful.
How would you like to get away from it all and boost your health at the same time?
My very good friend Hannah Howard and I offering you just that with a detox retreat in the heart of the beautiful Cornish countryside.
Hannah and I have designed a 4 1/2 day, 5 night fully catered detox retreat packed full of things that will leave you feeling healthy and refreshed and ready to take on the world!
Hannah is a naturopathic nutritionist and excellent chef. This means she recommends natural foods and supplements where necessary, to treat a range of health conditions such as depression, IBS, PMS, eczema, acne and allergies. Hannah will be in charge of what you put in your body and will be inspiring you with her cooking workshops and culinary ideas.
I – Becci, as Mind Detox Therapist, will be in charge of your mental and emotional wellbeing. That means getting clear on your goals in life and then helping you remove the mental and emotional blocks to you achieving those goals.
Mornings will be structured with meditations, yoga, walks, workshops and the chance to have a 1:1 nutrition consultation or Mind Detox. Afternoons are free for you to do your own thing and explore either the local tracks and trails, Cornish coastline, Bodmin Moor or sit down by the river and throwing sticks for Dillon, the resident black lab.
In the evenings we’ll all sit down for a lovely, healthy meal followed by board games, evening workshops, films and quiet time to read or journal – the emphasis being on listening to your body and giving you and it all the help, support and love that it needs.
The retreat will be at the wonderful Penrose Burden (the view is that image at the top of the page) in North Cornwall. Penrose Burden is perched on the edge of Bodmin Moor and draws its own mineral water from a borehole on the farm. A 10 minute stroll from the cottage is a babbling river, the Camel Trail is at the end of the lane and we are just 20 minutes from the North Coast and some of the most stunning landscape in the UK. I’ve been going there for 5 years now and I’ve fallen in love with the place. It’s where I go to rejuvenate and I know you are going to love it too.
The retreat will run from 4pm Sunday 8th June to 10am Friday 13th June.
This retreat is perfect for anyone that wants to take time out to support their physical and emotional health and have fun whilst doing it.
The cost of the retreat includes:
▪ 5 nights accommodation in 3* holiday cottage
▪ Three nutritious meals a day plus snacks
▪ 1 fruit/vegetable juice a day plus unlimited mineral water and herbal teas
▪ Daily meditations
▪ Fun and engaging nutrition workshops
▪ Nutrition consultation with Hannah (to include a pre-retreat questionnaire)
▪ Mind Detox consultation with Becci
Ensuite twin or double sharing: £425
Single occupancy: £495
Places are on a first come first served basis and require a non-refundable £100 deposit to secure your space. Full payment is required 6 weeks before the retreat.
To book your space send an contact Becci or call 01892 853518 or 07833 597187.
The mind is a wonderful and powerful thing. I had the pleasure of being the client this morning to go through the Mind Detox Method and I had a wonderful time letting go of issues, some as old as I am.
The process reminded me how a single thought pattern can produce so much anxiety and impact on our daily life without us realising.
As so often is the case, there was more than one reason for my anxiety (I was looking at the reason I am shortsighted) and with the help of a great therapist we were able to clear some enormous trauma’s. Before the session I used to be desperately claustrophobic due to an experience I had at birth. Today I found myself stepping outside and breathing the air like it was the first time I had ever breathed. It was like my entire life I had been anxious for each breath, and now that anxiety is finally gone – I now know I am ok and able to breath as I need.
What’s all this got to do with being short sighted? Well, something like shortsightedness is based on fear. I was afraid at birth I couldn’t breath and I would die and now that fear has gone. I also detoxed on the anxiety of a parent being in hospital and not there to look after me from separate time in my life.
It is such small and simple things that trip us up, yet when we are young they seem huge, and left unresolved they hold us back as adults in many ways.
I can’t wait to see the positive results these mental shifts will make. So I wanted to say thank you to Sandy for discovering and honing the Mind Detox Method and sharing it with us all, and thank you to Liz today for being that great therapist. If you would like to know more about the Mind Detox Method then visit www.MindDetoxTunbridgeWells.co.uk or purchase the book Heal the Hidden cause on Amazone here.
Originally posted on HorseSense UK:
It is said that depression will affect us all at some point in our life either us personally or someone we love. Once it hits we can feel down, heavy, lethargic, hopeless, emotional for no reason or have no reason or desire to go on.
I first experienced depression at a very young age and have worked hard on understanding the causes and solutions for this most debilitating of illnesses. More recently I have been playing with a whole host of therapies to help people overcome the grey fog of depression, but I have to confess there is one remedy I consider to be vastly overlooked and massively under utilised and that is Horse Therapy.
Horses were once a significant part of day to day existence, but all that changed with the advent of the internal combustion engine. No longer required for transportation horses became a leisure and recreation item…
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One of the common themes I see in my Mind Detox clinic is an adult that gives their power away to others. By others I mean a sibling, a parent, a husband, their boss, the government, a doctor or even pets!
People pleasers have grown up and learnt that they way to get what they want or even to avoid being bullied or abused is to do what everyone else wants and put their own wants and needs to one side.
Such an approach will work short term, but will long term end up with a disempowered adult that either requires an external verification of their worth or has deep sense of self-loathing because unwittingly they aren’t listening to themselves and their needs.
In contrast, to let go of the idea that we must please others and it is the relationship with ourselves that is most important can be an immensely liberating affair. To be able to sit down in complete bliss with your own presence is a wonderful feeling and is great for your emotional and psychological well being. When we are in that kind of state, the body is healthy and happy, we heal quickly and we are overflowing with love for others because our cup is already full. It is our natural state and is everyone’s birthright.
I can understand why though, for many this idea would be challenging and produce resistance.
I too was once a people pleaser, misguidedly thinking that my sense of self worth and love came from outside of me and not from within. I was from a largish family, so it is easy to understand how as a young child fitting in with the needs of the rest of the family could have been interpreted as having to put everyone else first and my parents were not experts on child psychology, like everyone else they were just trying to do their best like all parents do!
However, with my hindsight, what advice would I give parents of children, people pleasers and those that work in the therapy world?
Firstly, we are all unique, valuable and wonderful beings. We do not need to do or being anything to be worthy of love. Joy, peace and happiness is our natural state, so when we take away the reasons we are not experiencing our natural state (psychological conditioning, unhealed memories, lack of knowledge) then we experience all the goodness and abundance that resides within us all.
Thirdly, the word empowerment is key. To empower someone is to allow them to use their inner resources rather than rely on outside means. For example, I empower my clients to find me and choose for themselves whether my services are appropriate. I do not apply pushy sales tactics because I want to know my clients are making the right decision for them. They are taking a leap of faith asking me for help and the reward is the vindication of their efforts. When it comes to children a little more guidance and coaching is required. A child may not inherently realise they are powerful beings capable of making their own choices and looking after themselves. It makes sense that in the same way we teach them to tie shoe laces and how to read, we will need to teach them to listen to their inner wisdom and act on it rather than rely on others. As parents, we must be aware of what level our children are capable of self care and self empowerment and facilitate that growth to happen.
Finally, as parents it is for us to model empowerment and demonstrate the benefits. True empowerment means that each individual looks after and is responsible for themselves, whilst being responsible, aware of their impact and contribution on the wider world. In the case of the oxygen masks on aeroplanes, we must see to our own needs first.
Examples of personal empowerment include keeping ourselves adequately fed, homed and clothed to the best of our ability. Choosing a profession that we are both good and enjoy is another, or being equal in a relationship that is based on love, trust and give and take. All these are forms of empowerment and crucial ultimately to your survival.
My closing thought is this. Your relationship with yourself is more important than any other relationship you will have. Others will come and go, your relationship with you is constant.